My boyfriend [23M] raised his voice during an argument after I [22F] hurt his feelings. Am I to blame?

I'm in a situation with my boyfriend (23M) that I'm trying to sort out. He's my first boyfriend and my only relationship experience—it's all been long distance after we met on Instagram. We've met in person twice during the year we've known each other, and we've been dating for about 3-4 months. Recently, we had a disagreement during which I (22F) hurt his feelings by discussing a Christmas gift he gave me. It was our first gift exchange as a couple, and while it was sentimental, I was surprised by it because he often spends significantly on himself and talks about it. I thought gifting might not be a priority for him, and considering my own financial situation, I assigned a lot of value to the gift even if it didn’t cost much. When I brought this up, I certainly didn't intend to upset him, but I understand why he got defensive. He told me that I made him question everything about himself, and in frustration, I expressed doubts about how seriously he viewed our relationship based on his financial contribution. The conversation ended on a sour note. A week later, I attempted to revisit the topic to clarify my feelings, but he reacted with intense anger and even yelled at me, telling me to "shut the f*** up" and accusing me of victimizing myself. I was taken aback, especially since I don't raise my voice in conflicts, and this was all over the phone. The next day, I tried to discuss how he spoke to me, but he insisted that his reaction was justified because of my behavior. He described my crying as unfair, arguing that he was the one who should be hurt and claimed that yelling is normal in relationships. He stood firm that he didn't owe me an apology. Right now, I'm feeling torn. I recognize that I hurt him and I've been apologizing consistently, trying to communicate that my comments stemmed from insecurity. However, I don't want to normalize being treated this way during arguments. I've asked for a break in communication until Sunday because our discussions haven’t been constructive—I’m trying to explain my feelings, and he’s denying me the right to feel hurt. **TL;DR:** I expressed feeling undervalued by a gift my boyfriend gave me, and while I understand why he was upset, he reacted angrily and told me to shut up. He feels justified in his reaction and has refused to apologize, insisting that I shouldn't bring it up again. I'm unsure about how to proceed, especially since he’s been aggressive in arguments before.