I [21M] feel like I'm in a toxic relationship with my girlfriend [21F].

I recently marked three years with my girlfriend, whom I'll refer to as Dani, to protect her identity. I met her in college, and while I care about her deeply, I'm troubled by a persistent feeling that our relationship has turned toxic, leaving me unsure of what to do. I'm reaching out for guidance. For context, Dani faces challenges related to depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder, which often makes me more forgiving of her behavior. However, recently I've noticed some patterns that are becoming overwhelming for me. About a year ago, we attended a pride parade together. Dani insisted we go, arguing it would be a fun summer outing and an opportunity to spend time together away from our families. I’m generally introverted and dislike large crowds, so I hesitated, but her enthusiasm wore me down, and I agreed. Unfortunately, the day of the parade took a negative turn when she revealed she had gone through my belongings and found something personal I hadn’t shared with her. I felt violated and hurt, but I chose to overlook it since we were in a different state and I didn't want to make a scene. At the parade, I soon became overwhelmed by the crowd and told her I needed to leave. Despite my discomfort, she insisted I should be enjoying myself since she was. Later, when we finally had some time alone, she expressed how hurt she was that I wasn't having a good time, mentioning how much effort she put into making the weekend enjoyable. I ended up apologizing for my feelings to avoid causing her pain. The fall of last year brought our college’s music festival, which I initially attended but left early due to bad weather and my stress from the crowds. Dani later wanted to have an afterparty at her place and suggested I meet her at a friend's car. After having already walked home for 20 minutes in the rain, I didn’t want to go back out and asked if her friends could pick me up since I didn’t have my own vehicle. She insisted that I just walk because she didn’t want to impose on her friends. This disagreement escalated into a fight, with me insisting I wouldn’t go unless she arranged a ride for me. Eventually, she relented, but I felt hurt that she prioritized others' convenience over my discomfort. Later, I invited her to join me on a trip to see my brother, who was expecting a baby. This was exciting for me as I hadn’t seen my siblings in over a year. However, soon after arriving, Dani expressed her stress about fitting in and wanted to retreat to the hotel. I compromised, and while we did have some fun at the hotel, her anxiety kept cutting our family time short. She became increasingly anxious about our flight, causing us to leave early even with ample time before departure. I felt frustrated that her stress dictated our plans, and she was upset with me for not being more understanding. Most recently, she worked on a significant film project, and I offered my house for filming with the understanding that she would share food with me for the crew since I didn't want to cook during filming. When it came time to eat, she scolded me, stating that the crew should eat first, implying I wasn’t a part of it. I confronted her about her tone after filming, and she broke down, claiming she was in "director mode" and needed my support as she was overwhelmed. I apologized for my timing but felt dismissed. Reflecting on these experiences, I'm realizing this might not be a healthy relationship. I love Dani, and I don’t believe she acts with malice, but it often feels like I must apologize for my feelings because my pain seems to amplify hers. I strive to be supportive, but her struggles can weigh heavily on me. I often feel like I'm providing emotional support for her without receiving the same in return. I try to share my interests, but she often seems uninterested and shifts the topic. I also feel pressured into activities I’m not comfortable with, leading me to question if I’m adequately expressing my needs. We've had discussions about how she would cope if we broke up, and each time she's expressed that it would devastate her for months, leaving me conflicted about making a decision. How can I approach her with these concerns without feeling that my emotions are invalidated due to her stronger feelings? I'm in desperate need of guidance.