Seeking advice on marriage and intimacy for a couple (M46, F46).

Hey everyone, I'm at a crossroads in my life and could really use some advice. My wife and I are quite different, and as we age and our three kids grow, I'm starting to worry about our future together. Our libidos have always been mismatched, and I had hoped it would improve after getting married and moving in together, but that hasn’t been the case. Despite having multiple discussions and even attending relationship counseling, we still struggle to find common ground. My main concern is that we don't share many interests. I enjoy exercising, staying fit, eating healthily, and spending time in nature, while she tends to prefer sitting down to watch TV or scrolling through her phone. She indulges in binge drinking once a week and generally doesn’t follow a healthy diet. I want to honor our marriage and care for her, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult. I sometimes feel lonely, as my efforts to engage her in activities together often go unnoticed. I usually take her out for dinner once a month for some quality time, but I don’t feel that I’m getting much in return. While she actively plans outings with her friends, I can’t help but feel that she puts more effort into those friendships than into our relationship. She often seems exhausted and lacks energy, and after initially trying to encourage her to exercise, I've run out of ideas. We do manage to keep things running smoothly with the kids and housework, which is a positive aspect of our partnership, but it only adds to my disappointment in other areas. I'm not exactly sure what I’m hoping to achieve here. Should I lay down an ultimatum? I really don’t want to disrupt our home, but I also feel that this situation is taking a toll on my mental health. The ongoing sexual frustration is something I dislike, and although I make efforts for intimacy, the response is minimal. I appreciate any thoughts or advice you might have.