My girlfriend, who is 19, shows no interest in being intimate with me, a 20-year-old.

I'm a 20-year-old college student in a wonderful relationship with an amazing woman, who is 19. However, I’m facing a challenge I never expected: my girlfriend doesn't want to have sex and doesn't seem to feel any sexual desire. When we first got together, she was dealing with trauma from a past assault and expressed a desire for intimacy. At that time, she was on birth control and trying to overcome her experiences. However, she has since decided that she doesn't want to force herself to engage in sexual activities anymore, and I completely respect that. She’s very open about her lack of interest, and I would never want her to feel pressured to "push herself." Additionally, she has changed her birth control twice, and now she rarely feels aroused. I love her deeply, and everything else about our relationship feels perfect, but we haven't been intimate in nearly three months, which is something I desire. When we've been intimate, it tends to be short-lived, and she’s not comfortable with certain aspects—like performing oral sex or engaging with me physically in ways I’d like. I consistently make an effort to please her, often spending a significant amount of time ensuring she enjoys herself. Although she claims to feel attracted to me, I struggle with self-esteem issues due to an eating disorder, which leads me to worry that she doesn’t find me appealing at all. This doubt is damaging my self-image, and I’m unsure how to bring this up without making her feel further pressure. I wish she wanted me the way I want her; it sometimes feels like our connection is primarily emotional rather than physical. I don’t even mind the lack of sex as much as I fear she might find me unattractive. She has mentioned that during intimacy, she doesn't really feel me but just a sensation of pressure. I’ve never felt insecure about my size or ability to please a partner before, but for the first time, I feel inadequate and worry that she might view me as unappealing. I’m not angry with her—understanding her trauma makes it difficult for me to talk about my feelings. The last thing I want to do is make her feel guilty or worse about her experiences.