I'm a 25-year-old male, and I'm looking to enhance the social aspect of my sex life with my girlfriend, who's 26 and we've been together for six years. I want to support her in exploring her sexuality. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Am I being unrealistic in what I'm hoping for?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for six years, and I love her more than anything. She’s the person I want to spend my life with. Up until now, we’ve had a fairly typical sexual relationship, and I’m still as attracted to her as I was when we first met. However, there’s one challenge in our relationship that’s entirely my own issue—it's not her fault at all. A bit of context: my girlfriend didn’t go through the typical adolescent phase where most explore their sexuality. She never learned to touch herself, developed fantasies, or figured out what arouses her. In contrast, I did, albeit in an unhealthy manner. I watched a lot of porn, created my own sexual fantasies, and was well aware of what I liked and didn’t like. Before her, I had a few short-term partners, but this current relationship is my first serious long-term commitment, and it is hers as well. It took us two years before she experienced her first orgasm. Initially, when I asked if she had, she thought she did, but I was determined to help her truly understand what it felt like. After three hours, she finally experienced it. Since then, I’ve been able to help her reach that point through oral sex, which I’m always happy to do. The issue I face, though, is her lack of energy in bed. We tend to stick to the same position (missionary) and routine, which becomes repetitive. I’ve suggested ways to mix things up, but she seems uncomfortable with them and quickly reverts back to our usual way. I even asked her to watch porn with me, but she was very uneasy and only half-heartedly participated. When I had an open conversation with her about this, it didn’t initially go well—she became insecure and her self-confidence took a hit. She claims to enjoy our sex life and doesn’t feel bored, but I have my doubts. At a young age, she was diagnosed with mild autistic tendencies, which were so subtle that I didn’t notice until her dad mentioned it to me after a year and a half. It seems to affect her reactions during sex; even when she says she enjoys different positions, her facial expressions betray her true feelings. She often doesn’t smile, rarely makes eye contact, and doesn’t express herself verbally—I feel like she approaches intimacy as if it's always her first time and is uncertain about her desires. I’ve been trying to share my sexual fantasies with her, but I wish she would also explore her own. Recently, I had an idea that I’m eager to discuss with her: I want us to include other people in our sex life. Now, before jumping to conclusions, hear me out. I thought about taking her to a sex club, which she has shown some openness to. It would be a place for us to observe couples together, seeing real people rather than adult film stars. Ideally, we could even meet a couple online who would be comfortable with us watching them while we engage as well. I hope that witnessing normal intimacy could help her feel less insecure and more willing to experiment with me. It’s important to me that she's aroused by more than just me. She never initiates sex or tries to seduce me; she doesn’t wear makeup or perfume, even though I find her beautiful. While she appreciates me, I miss the energy of desire and playfulness from her side. I feel her love, but not her sexual longing, which makes our connection feel somewhat PG-13. Ultimately, I want her to discover that there’s more to sex than she realizes. I’d love to help her explore her own likes and curiosities. I trust her completely and believe she wouldn’t cheat on me, just as I would never betray her. I seek her consent before introducing any new ideas—I’m not interested in an open relationship unless she shares the same sentiment. Has anyone here experienced a similar situation? Or am I being unrealistic and unfair in requesting changes in our sex life?