SEEKING ADVICE: I (21F) find myself comparing my social life to that of my outgoing boyfriend (21M), and it's leading to feelings of resentment toward him because I feel lonely. How can I express my feelings to him in a way that helps me move past this resentment?

**(Summary: I'm struggling to make friends while my boyfriend has many, which has led to some unfair resentment due to my own insecurities. I'm looking for advice on how to share my feelings with him in a way that fosters understanding for both of us.)** I created a burner Reddit account because I'm embarrassed and really need some guidance. Please bear with me as this is a bit lengthy. Socializing has always been tough for me, and I've repeatedly had difficulties forming and maintaining friendships, leaving me with a significant insecurity. I've always felt quite awkward, adding to my social anxiety. Currently, I'm undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy to help with this. In contrast, my boyfriend is very outgoing and sociable. It's impressive how easily he connects with others and leaves every conversation with new friends. Everyone adores him, and he truly lights up any gathering. He’s my best friend, and I genuinely admire him. We’ve been together for four years. As we're both in university, he’s made numerous friends, while I haven’t built any connections on my own. The friends I do have are those he introduced me to, as they were his friends initially. Here are the roots of my insecurities: - People regard my boyfriend as his own individual, whereas I feel perceived only as his girlfriend, rather than by my name. - When he walks into a room, people greet him warmly. In his absence, others ask me where he is, but I don’t receive the same engagement. - I struggle to engage in fun conversations with our friends like he does. When I contribute to group discussions, the mood tends to drop, in stark contrast to how people respond to him. - I often feel that my connection with our friends exists solely because they’re associated with him. - My boyfriend is really the only person I spend time with or confide in. I enjoy being with him and feel more self-assured around him. However, in group settings, I often feel overshadowed by his extroverted presence, becoming almost invisible. - He spends a lot of time with others, which leaves me feeling alone. Although I appreciate my alone time, it stings knowing I have no one to turn to when I seek social connection. Lately, I’ve begun to feel resentment towards my boyfriend, and I recognize that this isn’t fair to him. I know I need to make changes myself, rather than expect him to change, but it’s challenging to suppress those feelings. He is aware of my loneliness and the pain I’ve experienced from lacking genuine friendships. At times, he can sense when I’m feeling down and encourages me to share what’s bothering me. I find it difficult to express my emotions to him. I often bottle things up to avoid burdening him with my struggles, and I hate the idea of making him feel guilty about my situation. There have been nights when I've cried myself to sleep next to him, trying to keep quiet. Sometimes I find myself sobbing during the day, but he’s unaware because I turn away. When I do express my feelings of loneliness, he genuinely tries to comfort me, yet I often end up feeling worse afterward. He doesn’t grasp what I’m experiencing — he’s never known what it’s like to lack friends. I sometimes push him away, fearing I’ll take my emotions out on him, yet I’m also frustrated with him for not understanding my feelings. I love him deeply and don’t want him to feel guilty; I know this isn't his fault, but mine. I hope that by improving my communication with him, I can stop feeling resentful. How can I express my feelings to him without making him feel guilty or pressured? What’s the best way to share my emotions so that I feel understood and heard? And how do I manage my feelings overall?