Is relationship anxiety taking a toll on my life? [36F]

I want to apologize in advance as there's quite a bit of backstory here. This journey started back in 2016 when I decided to end my engagement. I had been with a guy I’ll call Matt for three years, and after getting engaged, his struggles with drugs and alcohol quickly became apparent. For a whole year, I tried to support him while keeping his issues hidden (please understand, I was only 26 and had never dealt with addiction before). Eventually, my family discovered what was happening, and about a month before our wedding, I called off the engagement. This was an extremely difficult decision that filled me with anxiety. On one hand, it felt like a relief because I no longer had to worry about what kind of mood I would encounter at home (to clarify, he was never violent, just unpredictable when under the influence). On the other hand, it felt as though the life I envisioned for myself had been taken away. Fast forward six months, I started a new teaching job and met another teacher at the school. After about four months of friendship, we entered a relationship. However, he seemed unprepared for it. He worried about our colleagues and students finding out about us, so we never displayed any affection in public—no hand-holding, no photos together. He also wasn't very gentle with my feelings and was uncertain about wanting kids, something I felt strongly about, leading to many tough conversations. After two years, we broke up, but he returned to me a month later, realizing his mistakes and expressing a desire for kids. By then, I was already anxious and wasn't ready to take him back. We spent the next year and a half trying to make it work, during which he transformed into the kind, considerate person I always believed he was. Yet, my body couldn’t shake off the anxiety; it was as if I was on high alert every time we interacted. I also attempted to date others during this time, but nobody felt right, as I constantly compared them to him. Eventually, I relocated across the country and had a few short-term relationships (lasting less than six months). We attempted to rekindle things, and he even moved to my city, but I still couldn't overcome the anxiety. Although I wanted to be with him, I experienced overwhelming anxiety whenever we faced important decisions about our relationship. We acted like a couple, but the moment we needed to make commitments or become intimate, I felt a wave of anxiety. He often expressed disappointment over my difficulty managing my relationship anxiety. I truly believe he is my soulmate, but I find it hard to move past this anxiety. Fast forward again — I moved again and entered a relationship that lasted a year and a half, although it turned out to be a poor match. He also began a new relationship and has now broken up with her. Currently, I'm in a relationship with a new, wonderful guy, yet I’m once again experiencing significant anxiety. He is incredibly kind and sweet but struggles with articulating his thoughts and has considerable social anxiety, which ramps up my own anxiety when we go out. His anxious attachment style tends to make me withdraw. I’m feeling that familiar sense of something being 'not right.' I’m reaching out for advice regarding my anxiety. At this point, my relationship anxiety feels insurmountable. I've been in therapy for two years, tried medication, practiced meditation—I've done it all. I even froze my eggs to give myself more time to make important life choices, yet I feel like I have relationship PTSD (is that a real thing?). I can't seem to move past it. Has anyone else experienced this? What helped you overcome it? My therapist has suggested that maybe romantic relationships aren't what I truly want, and perhaps I should consider building a family outside of that context. The thought terrifies me. I just want to return to being the carefree person I once was, full of hope and free from anxiety about relationships.