I'm feeling utterly confused and require urgent assistance.

Subject: Seeking Guidance Hello, everyone. I'm posting here anonymously for personal reasons. I could really use some help or advice right now. I feel incredibly lost and would appreciate any compassion from those who take the time to read my story. I'll do my best to keep it succinct, but some context is necessary. I'm a 22-year-old woman. A few months ago, during a university program in Asia, I met a man who seemed like my ideal partner. He’s 37, which is significant to my story. He appears younger than his age and is full of life—gentle, caring, but somewhat immature as well. We have been together for six months now, and things started off beautifully. We clicked right away, and shortly after we met, he moved in with me at my homestay. With no responsibilities—financially stable, eating out, and no house chores—we enjoyed a carefree lifestyle together. We share similar dreams and lifestyles, both being active, artistic, and plant-based. However, I struggle with insecurity, which has been damaging our relationship. I have trust issues that have been surfacing, even though he made me feel special in the beginning. An incident still haunts me: when I asked how he felt about my appearance when we first met, he said it didn’t matter to him. This response, which may have been well-intentioned, left me feeling undesirable, as though he had settled for me. Despite his reassurances later that he finds me attractive, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not his type. I’m more curvy than I’d like to be, and the lack of compliments from him makes me question why he’d choose me if he doesn’t truly like me. Another point of tension in our relationship is cleanliness. I can be disorganized, while he jokingly claims to have OCD. These issues have been apparent from the start. In the early days, he eagerly introduced me to his parents and friends, wanting me to understand his world. His friends were kind, which made me believe he was too, but the fact that he primarily has female friends has fueled my insecurities. He insists he feels no attraction to them, as they’re like family, but I often feel inadequate. After two months of dating, we decided to get married—a significant decision that we've come to realize was premature. He left everything familiar to him for this relationship, and the process of obtaining the necessary visas and planning our wedding left us both drained. The stress led to arguments, tears, and feelings of entrapment as we struggled to communicate. He’s an artist and trader, which complicates his ability to find work here and made me realize he wasn’t prepared for the realities of life in Europe, where men often take on more hands-on tasks. This became a source of embarrassment for me, and I found myself frequently relying on my family for help. During heated exchanges, I’d tell him he wasn't “manly” enough, which affected our intimate life. Compounded with my own trauma from past relationships, my feelings of being used after intimacy led to more issues. He began to struggle with intimacy, feeling attacked by my angry words. He has expressed a desire to start therapy for himself, and I’m considering it too. We live in a small apartment without much privacy, and since neither of us is working, the close quarters have strained our relationship further. Our arguments have escalated over minor issues, and the lack of intimacy has left us both feeling drained and disconnected. I often find myself overwhelmed by the responsibilities of cooking and cleaning, feeling as though I’m playing the role of his caretaker rather than a partner. I’m now questioning whether I’m ready for this relationship or if he is the right person for me. I want stability and a future that includes children, which requires financial security. I feel as though I’ve lost myself and am no longer enjoying life. Am I simply too young for this? Should I reassess my priorities? Is he worth fighting for? I’m at a crossroads and would appreciate any insights. Thank you for listening.