Do couples experience disagreements regarding personal growth?

Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship, wondering if someone will ever challenge their existing beliefs about themselves or what they contribute to the partnership? How have you coped with emotionally distant partners or those who seem to lack depth? Is it a form of self-protection, or is it simply not part of their emotional toolkit? From my perspective, I often struggle with avoidant tendencies. After years of taking attachment style assessments, I'm realizing that my understanding of relationships and emotional expression is evolving; I'm approaching a quarter of the four main attachment styles. What does that mean? 😅 I find myself falling into negative thought patterns, focusing on what’s wrong instead of what's right. This leads me to contemplate escape as a way to avoid emotional pain, which ultimately results in hurt feelings. I then need to either be reassured by my partner or find a way to ground myself again. This can be especially challenging for someone with an anxious attachment style. Some of my triggers include a perceived lack of passion, interest, or enthusiasm, which ties back to fears of abandonment and self-worth. Thus, I sometimes react protectively based on my long-held beliefs, even if my partner says things like, “I’m just not a positive person, I can’t always say nice things to make you feel better.” While I respect her perspective, I find the language limiting and not particularly helpful. Is that reasonable? Similarly, I crave connection on both intellectual and emotional levels, and I often ask thoughtful questions to encourage growth. However, when my partner responds with, “I just don’t think about those things,” I’m left wondering if this is a limitation in our connection or if there’s an underlying fear at play.