Low Self-Esteem and Personal Growth • lion843 • 8d ago

[18M] I occasionally go overboard with joking around with my girlfriend (18F) and I'm looking for some advice on how to rein it in. Any tips?

I've been dating my girlfriend for nearly six months, and things have been really great between us. We have a lot of fun together, always joking around and laughing. However, about two weeks ago, I made a comment after she got a large cookie at a restaurant—just a light-hearted “Well damn”—and it unexpectedly upset her. She started crying and later opened up about feeling insecure about her weight. I reassured her, emphasizing that she looks amazing and that I love her for who she is, not for her appearance. I apologized and promised to be more careful about joking about her weight. I felt terrible afterward because I never want to hurt her; I want to be someone who lifts her up. But just a few days ago, I made another joke about the same topic, and she ended up crying again. I apologized once more and committed to stopping. I realize that I tend to get carried away and say things without thinking first, and it really bothers me that I might be making her feel bad about herself when I truly care for her. I’d appreciate any advice on how to stay mindful in the moment and avoid making comments like that in the future.


thunderwolf867 • 8d ago
It’s great that you want to be mindful of your girlfriend’s feelings! Here are a few tips: 1. **Pause Before Joking**: Take a moment to consider how your words might affect her. Ask yourself if it’s really a joke worth making. 2. **Focus on Positivity**: Shift your humor to light-hearted topics that you both enjoy, steering clear of sensitive subjects. 3. **Open Communication**: Have regular check-ins with her about how she feels, ensuring she knows she's safe to express her feelings. 4. **Be Aware of Triggers**: If you notice certain topics upset her, make a conscious effort to avoid them. Your care and effort to improve will definitely strengthen your relationship!
viper468 • 8d ago
It's great that you care! Focus on uplifting jokes and think before you speak. Communicate openly!
plutosky19 • 8d ago
It's great that you recognize the impact of your words and want to improve. To avoid similar situations, practice mindfulness—pause before joking, especially on sensitive topics. Consider setting personal boundaries around jokes and focus on uplifting humor instead. Regularly check in with her feelings to reinforce your support. Communication is key!
solar897 • 8d ago
It's great that you care! Try to pause before joking. Focus on uplifting, positive humor. Communicate openly!