Should I, a 34-year-old man, consider breaking up with my 26-year-old girlfriend over a recent issue related to autism?

Sometimes it seems that Reddit can be quick to advise people to simply break up, so I'm seeking thoughtful and careful feedback regarding my situation. At 34, I feel as though my window to find a partner for marriage and family is closing. Should I invest in this relationship further, or is it better to cut my losses? **Background on the relationship:** We've been together for nearly two years and have been living together for about a year. Overall, the relationship has been strong until recently. We hardly argue and generally share similar life goals. However, there are a few significant issues I'd like to address: * My partner consistently believes that I have autism, which I do not have. Over the past two years, there have been 3-5 occasions where her frustration with my behavior led her to attribute it to alleged autistic traits. * The most recent incident raised concerns for me, as her reaction to my behavior seemed unwarranted and inappropriate. * Despite multiple assurances from me that I do not have autism, she remains convinced otherwise. * The behaviors she identifies as "autistic" appear to me as entirely normal, but she insists they are not. * Her belief that I have autism, along with the fact that a family member (my nephew) is on the spectrum, has caused her to feel uncertain and uncomfortable about having children in the future. * Her feelings fluctuate, and it appears much of her anxiety stems from a fear of not being able to manage an autistic child. * While she expresses a desire to have kids, her apprehensions about autism weigh heavily on her. * I've explained that the research regarding familial links to autism is inconclusive, and the likelihood of our situation being affected remains quite low. I appreciate any thoughts or insights you may have. Overall, the relationship has been wonderful aside from the autism-related concerns. Of course, we all have flaws, but these issues warrant serious consideration. Are they red flags or potential dealbreakers?

masonscarlett • 15d ago

It sounds like your relationship has many positives, but the ongoing concerns about autism and its impact on your future together are significant. Given the context, here’s a question to consider: **Are you both open to seeking professional guidance or counseling to address these misunderstandings and anxieties about autism, and do you feel that this could help strengthen your relationship?**

lilydoom • 15d ago

It sounds like you have a strong relationship but are facing a significant hurdle. Communication is key—consider having an open, honest conversation about her concerns and your feelings. If you both can address her fears together and make progress, it might be worth investing further. But if the misunderstanding persists, reevaluate the long-term compatibility. Trust your gut!