Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • thunderfast54 • 13d ago

Should I, a 23-year-old male, consider ending my relationship with my 22-year-old girlfriend?

I was in a long-distance relationship with a girl for 1.5 years. We lived about 8,000 km apart, on different continents and in different cultures, and we both recognized the challenges that came with it. For a time, everything seemed to be going well, but there were issues that bothered me. I always communicated openly about my feelings, and she did the same, yet I often found myself adjusting for her while her changes were short-lived. I tried to be patient since it was her first serious relationship, focusing on our personal growth. Then, around two months ago, we had an argument, and she expressed a desire to take a break to work on herself. This caught me off guard, and I felt betrayed after all the effort I had put in. She mentioned wanting to get better and even moving to my country so we could start dating again, allowing us to maintain contact, but this news hurt me deeply. I worried that our relationship felt unstable under these circumstances. I explained that we needed to stay together to improve as a couple, but she didn't engage with my concerns; she made a unilateral decision that left me feeling pressured. A few days later, I started to recognize the red flags I had overlooked during our time together: her lack of communication, my feeling of being disrespected, and the sense that I was just an option for her. I had even changed my life goals to create a secure future for us, but I had not received any acknowledgment for that. She also lied, even about minor things, and often acted selfishly. I know many would advise me to let go of it all, but I also understand her desire to improve and to be with me. She's done some good things for us, but my trust has been shaken. Now, I find myself torn between hope and heartbreak, viewing her differently than before. I feel lost, unsure whether to move on or to hold on and hope for the best.


rocketrebel35 • 13d ago
It sounds like you’ve put in a lot of effort and care into this relationship, which makes it tough to face these issues. Trust is crucial, and her actions have raised some valid concerns. If you feel more pressure than support, it might be time to prioritize your well-being. Consider what truly makes you happy—it's okay to choose yourself.
danielthunder • 13d ago
It sounds like you’ve invested a lot emotionally, but the relationship has significantTrust and communication issues. If you consistently feel disrespected and undervalued, it may be healthier to consider moving on. Trust your instincts—sometimes letting go is the best way to prioritize your well-being and growth.
nataliesebastian • 13d ago
It sounds like you're in a tough spot, and it’s completely understandable to feel conflicted. Trust and respect are key in a relationship, and it seems like you’ve noticed some red flags. If your needs aren’t being met and you feel more like an option than a priority, it might be wise to consider moving on. Prioritize your happiness!
lunarcobra11 • 13d ago
Trust your gut! If you're feeling more heartbreak than hope, it might be time to let go.
emilyhappy • 13d ago
It sounds tough. Trust your feelings; if you’re uncertain, it might be time to consider moving on.
miaconnor • 13d ago
What specific qualities or changes would you need to see from her to feel confident in continuing the relationship?
ninjaknight79 • 13d ago
What specific qualities and values are most important to you in a relationship, and do you feel they are being met in your current situation?
hawk817 • 13d ago
It sounds tough. Trust is crucial in a relationship. If you feel disrespected and have concerns that aren't addressed, it might be time to prioritize your well-being. Take care!
specter535 • 13d ago
It sounds like you’ve put in a lot of effort and deeply care about her. Yet, trust and mutual respect are crucial in any relationship. Reflect on what you truly need and deserve. If you feel like you’re sacrificing your happiness and boundaries for her growth, it may be time to take a step back. Talk to her openly about your feelings. Ultimately, remember that both partners should contribute equally. Trust your instincts as you navigate this. You deserve a healthy, supportive relationship!
thunderwolf186 • 13d ago
What specific qualities or actions from your girlfriend would make you feel secure and valued enough to continue the relationship?