Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • stormsentinel97 • 14d ago

My female partner (34) isn't interested in marrying. What’s the best way to discuss this with her?

**(Summary: My partner is not interested in marrying me.)** To provide some context, both of us married at a young age and have experienced divorce. We've been in a relationship for three years and share a child together. We are deeply committed to one another and envision a lifelong partnership. Our love is evident, as we express our affection in many ways—except for the absence of a marriage proposal. I've mentioned my desire to marry him three times now, and each time he has expressed that he doesn’t believe marriage is necessary, arguing that a piece of paper doesn’t validate his love for me. He views marriage as unimportant and meaningless. During our last conversation about it, I conveyed that marriage holds emotional significance for me, as well as practical benefits and legal protections. He acknowledged my perspective but responded with a somewhat dismissive remark before changing the subject. I want to marry him not only because I love him, but also because I wish to fully experience life with him, including the commitment of marriage. I dream of calling him my husband, exchanging rings and vows—nothing extravagant, just a simple, intimate ceremony with our closest friends and family. I also worry about the potential implications for our assets in the event of unexpected situations, where legal considerations could complicate matters. Honestly, it hurts that he doesn't want to marry me. If he loves me as much as he claims, why wouldn’t he want to solidify our bond in as many ways as possible? In his previous marriage, he frequently expressed his love for being married and referred to his spouse publicly. Yet, when it comes to our relationship, public displays of affection are rare. I know I need to bring this up again soon and share my feelings honestly, despite how vulnerable it may make me feel. I'm concerned about building resentment over this issue and how it might create distance between us. This is the only significant issue in our otherwise healthy relationship. He treats me wonderfully, has supported me through many challenges, and has brought immense peace to my life as a loving partner and father. It’s just this one matter that weighs on me. Perhaps I am being overly romantic, or maybe I’m fixating on something that isn’t as crucial as I believe it to be. I would appreciate any insights, as I'm hesitant to discuss this with anyone in my life.


austinhawk • 14d ago
Try sharing how marriage feels meaningful to you. Open up about your hopes and worries.
tornado841 • 14d ago
What specific emotions or thoughts do you want to express to her during the conversation about marriage?