Is it possible to rekindle my relationship with my partner of 11 years?

**How can I improve my relationship?** I’m struggling to reconnect with my partner (F38) of 11 years, and I’m not sure how to move forward. I don’t want to lose what we’ve built over the last 11 years, but sometimes I feel like she doesn’t love me. I'm not sure if I'm just being overly sensitive or if there’s something more going on. We’re not married, and we don’t have children, and currently, we don’t live together. We cohabited for about four years before breaking up for roughly six months (a decision I made) because I felt there was some resentment on her part. During our breakup, she expressed a desire to get back together and promised to treat me better. We’ve been back together for five years (still not living together), and while things improved initially, I’ve been feeling unappreciated over the past year. Some of her behaviors come across as selfish and immature, but again, I’m questioning if I’m overreacting. Here are some examples: When there’s a shopping bag that needs to be carried, she refuses to do so if it doesn’t contain her items, insisting, “Why should I carry your stuff?” I understand the expectation is that, as the man, I should do the heavy lifting, but it feels like she’d prefer to watch me struggle rather than lend a hand. If I ask for her help, I often receive a snide remark. Societal norms suggest I should be the primary driver in our relationship, but I’m a nervous driver while she is quite confident. She frequently reminds me that she does most of the driving and even uses it as leverage sometimes, saying, “Well, if you want me to drive...” One time, when I was staying at her place, I received a late-night call about my dad's accident. As I anxiously called around hospitals for information, she offered no support or concern—only complained about the noise and the fact that I was keeping her up, waiting until the next day to gripe about it. Since my dad returned home from the hospital, she’s joined me for two visits. Each time, she kept her jacket on and didn’t engage with my parents. If I suggest visiting them, she makes insensitive comments about their home. I feel that, for my sake—someone she claims to love—she should make an effort, even if she finds it uncomfortable. After each visit, she insists I “owe” her for doing something she didn't want to. She seems to expect me to focus on my own activities when she’s busy, but when she’s free, she wants us to spend that time together. I’m not talking about social outings; I mean pursuing my own hobbies. I can’t shake the feeling that she’s unhappy, as her main pastime appears to be mindlessly watching TV. While she talks about “quality time,” that often just means sitting together in front of the screen. If I try to engage in my hobby while she watches, it seems to upset her. When it comes to children, we both felt ready to start a family a few years back, and we even visited a fertility clinic. We were told we needed to make lifestyle changes, which we both accomplished. However, when I bring up returning to the clinic, she declares she’s no longer interested in having children because she feels too old and wants to enjoy life without the responsibilities, which breaks my heart. I’ve always wanted to be a dad, and I’m struggling to understand how her feelings could change so drastically over time. Had she originally expressed this sentiment, it would’ve been a deal-breaker for me. Our sex life is also suffering, likely my fault, as I don’t have much of a sex drive. It’s challenging to feel desire when I sense a lack of love and intimacy from her. Despite being on medication for depression, she has once remarked she would prefer a “crazy and horny” version of me over a “sane but not horny” one. At this point, I feel lost, confused, and hurt. I don’t want to end an 11-year relationship, but I’m uncertain if I can make her happy or if she truly loves me. **TL;DR:** I'm a 35-year-old man in a distant 11-year relationship with a 38-year-old woman. I need advice on how to reconnect and improve our situation.