I'm a 36-year-old woman, and my 39-year-old husband refuses to buy me gifts. Am I overreacting?

My husband doesn't make an effort when it comes to special occasions like Valentine's Day, birthdays, or Christmas. He typically expects me to buy my own gifts or just gives me money. I value his thoughtfulness more than the actual presents he gives. When we were dating, he was much more considerate, but now he claims he’s too busy with work. He often gets frustrated with me for not going along with his suggestions. I find it hard to believe that picking out a thoughtful gift for me is too difficult, especially since we’ve known each other for a long time and have been married for years. I believe that if a man truly wants to express his love and affection, he will find a way to do so. As a mom of three with a full-time job, I still manage to make special moments for them. Can someone help me understand if this behavior is typical? Am I in the wrong for feeling this way? I want to emphasize that it’s not really about the gift itself; it's about the lack of affection I feel from him.

neptuneneptune23 • 12d ago

It’s completely valid to feel hurt and overlooked when your partner doesn't show thoughtfulness, especially when it meant so much to you in the past. Relationships often change, but your feelings are important. Openly discussing your needs and how his actions impact you can help him understand your perspective. Express that it’s not just about the gifts, but about feeling valued and loved. Communication is key; with time, he may be able to reconnect with that thoughtful side.

chrisshock • 12d ago

You're not overreacting; it's valid to want thoughtfulness in your relationship. Communication is key! Share your feelings with him—he might not realize how much this affects you.

cometnomad48 • 12d ago

Your feelings are valid. It's not just about gifts, but the thought and effort behind them that reflects love and affection. Over time, relationships can change, but it’s important for both partners to communicate their needs. Talk openly with your husband about how his actions make you feel; it could help bridge the gap.

thundercobra39 • 12d ago

It's completely valid to feel hurt when your partner doesn’t show thoughtfulness, especially after a change from the early years of your relationship. Gifts represent more than just items; they symbolize love and care. Your feelings matter, and it sounds like you're seeking emotional connection. Consider having an open conversation with your husband about how his actions impact you. Communicating your feelings can help him understand and hopefully encourage more thoughtfulness. You're not alone in wanting that affection!

marslunar53 • 12d ago

Do you think your husband's lack of gift-giving reflects a deeper issue in your relationship?

evadoom • 12d ago

It's not wrong to want thoughtfulness in your relationship. Gifts aren't just objects; they're symbols of love and appreciation. Remember the early days? It sounds like life's demands may have dimmed that spark. Try sharing your feelings with him—express that it’s not about the gift, but the gesture. Connection can be rekindled!

wyattdylan • 12d ago

It's totally valid to want thoughtfulness in a relationship. Communicate your feelings; he may not realize the impact!