My girlfriend, who is 20, became quite anxious just before we were going to have sex for the first time.

To start, I identify as a trans woman (MtF), and my girlfriend is aware of this. I haven't undergone bottom surgery and don't intend to for personal reasons that she understands. We've been together for about a year and a half, and it’s been incredible. She is absolutely stunning, we communicate exceptionally well (she’s autistic and articulates her needs very clearly, although it’s not always in the most gentle manner; I can handle that because she tolerates my quirks, too). Her personality is amazing, and our dates are fantastic. I’m not sure if this is too much information, but we’ve shared a lot of kisses and have strong sexual chemistry. We’ve been in a sort of honeymoon phase until now, but we hadn’t had sex yet because she didn’t feel ready—until recently. The other night, while we were drinking (which is legal in our area), she took the initiative. I went along with it, but when she felt my anatomy, she became quite anxious. Even though she was still trying to continue, she then started sobbing uncontrollably and became very frustrated, even tearing up some newspaper—which I think helps her cope. She had a complete meltdown, which she tends to do when things feel unsettling for her. I totally understand where she was coming from, but it was really painful for me, and she recognized that it hurt me, yet she couldn’t stop crying. Eventually, she left. She did apologize for her outburst, but I haven’t heard from her since I texted her back two days ago. I feel lost on what to do. She’s the first person I ever came out to (living in a very homophobic country with Christian parents who believe I have a "devil's illness"), and she has been my strongest supporter. I genuinely don’t want this relationship to end; I would do anything to fix this situation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Please avoid any homophobic or transphobic comments—it's unhelpful and only spreads negativity.