I have a sense of guilt...

I'm a 19-year-old woman, and loneliness has been a constant in my life. I've struggled to make friends and have always felt like I had no one to reach out to or share my experiences with. My family is quite strict and judgmental, which has led me to keep my feelings bottled up. A few months ago, I connected with someone online through a community I belong to. Our initial exchanges were light-hearted and flirty, which was enjoyable at first. However, as time passed, she admitted to developing feelings for me. Upon hearing this, I considered pulling back, as I didn't feel the same way. I deeply valued her friendship but saw her more as a best friend than a romantic partner. As we continued to talk, her attention and care began to mean a lot to me—something I had never truly felt before. It made me question if I might have feelings for her, or perhaps I just wanted to believe that I did. I started to wonder if I had misinterpreted my own emotions. She was always supportive, never judgmental, and cared for me in ways I had never experienced. Eventually, I confessed my feelings to her, despite having always identified as straight. Everything seemed to be going well; we texted daily and even had phone calls. Now, with Valentine's Day approaching, she has been discussing love and the nature of our relationship more often, and I'm feeling really conflicted. When I reflect on my feelings, I don't feel as strongly as I thought I did. I feel terrible because I recognize how much she genuinely cares about me, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. She has faced so much already, and I fear I might be giving her false hope only to take it away. This is especially hard for me because I don’t want to keep pretending if my feelings aren’t authentic. For a few days now, I’ve been avoiding her messages because I'm unsure how to express this to her. I feel selfish for not figuring this out sooner, and the idea of breaking her heart fills me with guilt. I find it hard to be open with her about my feelings, and I feel like I’ve made a mistake. I really need some advice on how to navigate this without inflicting more pain on her.