I was dishonest, betrayed, and caused pain to my partner.

I deceived, betrayed, and caused pain to my partner. I was in a long-distance relationship with a 26-year-old woman, and our separation ended poorly. During that time, I was struggling with depression while trying to balance school, work, and our relationship. I was sleep-deprived from our nightly calls, and although I wanted to support her, it became exhausting, and I found it hard to say no. Our relationship faced challenges. One night, she told me to leave, and later explained that it was her trauma speaking—she feared I would abandon her. She apologized and focused on self-improvement. I didn’t realize how my actions affected her, but it hit me hard. Feeling overwhelmed, I chose to take a break and went silent for three months, a decision I now regret as it caused her deep pain. Even after a month of silence, she reached out to check on me, but I couldn’t respond—not even on her birthday. During those three months, I met someone on Reddit. We connected, shared our locations, developed feelings, and began a relationship. She was more clingy than my ex. Eventually, I reached out to my ex to apologize and give her some closure. I still had feelings for her, and she didn’t deserve the hurt I had caused—she had done nothing wrong. She still had love for me and wanted to give our relationship another try. We decided to rebuild, but I knew I wasn’t in a good mental state. I wasn’t the person I aspired to be, yet I proceeded anyway. Weeks later, she confronted me, sensing that something was wrong. She discovered the app where I had shared my location with the other woman. I tried to maintain my lies but ultimately couldn’t. Seeing her cry shattered me, but she continued to talk to me. She asked if I loved the other woman. After a moment of hesitation, I confessed, “I love her, and I love you too.” Those words devastated her. I know I failed her. She deserves someone much better. I lied, hurt her, and betrayed her trust, and now I carry immense guilt for my actions. What should I do next? She deserves an apology, but I don’t want to reopen any wounds. I know she’s trying to heal from the trauma I caused, and I deeply regret what I did.