I discovered over 25 hookup, threesome, cougar, swinger, and LGBTQ+ apps on my husband's phone. I'm 25 and he's 31.

The title says it all. I’m a 25-year-old woman, and my husband is 31. We met through a mutual friend three and a half years ago. Ever since discovering something unsettling about our past, my mind has been in turmoil. Just thinking about it makes me feel nauseous, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve been betrayed. We’ve been married for two and a half years. During our dating phase, I inquired about his previous relationships. He assured me that he hadn’t been in a serious relationship for a long time and that our meeting was serendipitous. I believed him—why wouldn’t I? From the start of our relationship, I noticed that his libido seemed low. I found myself initiating intimacy most of the time, as he never seemed to approach me. This issue left me feeling uneasy, and I confronted him about it several times since it genuinely concerned me. To me, a loving couple shouldn’t be intimate only three times a month. That figure just felt odd, but I tried to dismiss my negative thoughts. When I pressed him about our lack of frequency, I never got a clear explanation. He promised to improve things, but for a while, it seemed like it got better only to revert back to the same low point. We got married in early 2022, and I became pregnant in late 2023. He was attentive during my pregnancy and generally a loving partner. However, after our baby arrived, things returned to how they were previously, despite my numerous attempts to discuss it. I felt stuck in a cycle with him. I never suspected infidelity for various reasons, especially since his job is quite demanding, leaving him little time or energy for anything outside of work. However, I started to notice red flags: he was perpetually on his phone, often taking it with him to the bathroom for long periods, showing little interest in meaningful conversation, and not making an effort to plan date nights. He also liked photos of other women and followed accounts that were clearly about superficial appearances. Although I raised my concerns, he continued these behaviors, eventually deleting his Instagram after our ongoing arguments. Over the weekend, while my phone was busy playing white noise for our son, I borrowed his phone to look something up. I already knew his password, which seemed like a good sign. Something compelled me to search for Tinder in his App Store, and to my shock, I found not just Tinder, but over 25 other related apps, including ones for threesomes, cougars, LGBTQ+, swinging, and hookups. I was astonished at how desperate someone could be to download so many apps. Naturally, I confronted him about this discovery. He claimed he had just downloaded them and hadn’t created any accounts or used them, aside from Tinder. But how could someone download that many apps without engaging with them? It didn’t make sense, especially since many wouldn’t even let you proceed without creating an account. I tried to check when the apps were downloaded, but his settings were locked and required Face ID. When I insisted he unlock it, he hesitated to let me see, and I became increasingly anxious, fearing he may have cheated on me. Eventually, he revealed that he had last used Tinder early in our dating phase, and that he had subscribed to another app, racking up monthly charges of around $60. Now, he’s pleading for me to focus on our child and consider giving him another chance. I feel sick and have been crying for days. My instincts tell me he’s either cheated or will cheat. I want to leave him, but I’m unsure how he would react if I start the divorce process. I’m feeling lost and embarrassed to talk to my family about this. What should I do?