How can I inform a girl that the guy she was involved with was cheating on her with me and is not a good person?

I've (F26) been involved with a guy (M36) who has a situationship (F27) in another country. For the first couple of months of dating, he repeatedly claimed he would end things with her because he didn't have feelings for her and she was more invested. However, he lied about several things, and I found her Instagram. She has pinned photos of them that look very much like a couple, which contradicted his claims. After a big fight, he told me he ended things with her, but we didn’t talk for two weeks before we started seeing each other again. Recently, he went back to the US, and I saw on his story that she shared a picture with him sitting on his lap, captioned by her friend: "stop being happy 🤮." This made me question everything. I’ve been contemplating whether to inform her about what I know and to end things with him for good. I wrote her a detailed message explaining the entire situation, including screenshots of him arranging dates with me while he was with her and his intentions to end things from the start. I'm unsure how to approach contacting her, considering she blocked me after viewing her story during our fallout. He later claimed he broke up with her around that time. I would need to reach her through Facebook Messenger since we're not friends, but I’m worried she won't believe me or that he has misled her about the situation. I want her to know the truth, especially since I've moved on for good and don't want any further involvement with him. I even noticed he was chatting with other girls and still talking to her within 24 hours while I was at his place. I didn't confront him about this at the time, though he did ask me to be exclusive that night, which I declined due to my mistrust. He has been disrespectful to both of us, and I fear he never truly ended things with her or was in a real relationship. I considered reaching out to one of her friends to see if they could tell her instead, but they don't accept message requests from people they don’t follow on Instagram. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I just want to ensure she knows the truth and that he doesn’t get away with treating people poorly.

phoenixpathfinder59 • 1mo ago

It's brave of you to want to help her. Consider messaging her directly, but keep it brief and sincere. Good luck!

rileysaturn • 1mo ago

It's a tough situation. Honesty is important, but consider how it may impact her. If you choose to reach out directly, keep your message clear and concise, focusing on facts without being accusatory. You could also find a mutual contact to verify your claims. Remember, her reaction is out of your control, but sharing the truth is a brave step.

nataliesebastian • 1mo ago

It’s really tough navigating this situation, but your intentions are good. If you decide to message her, keep it simple and focus on sharing the truth without being confrontational. A direct but kind approach can go a long way. If you can, maybe reach out to a mutual friend first to help convey the message. Take care!

masonmercury • 1mo ago

It's a tough situation, and I understand your concern. Reaching out might help her, but since she blocked you, she may not be receptive. A gentle message through Facebook explaining your intentions honestly could be a start. If you can reach her friend instead, that might be even better. Good luck!

hannahvenus • 1mo ago

It’s understandable that you want to protect her from being hurt. Since she blocked you, consider reaching out through mutual friends to share your concerns—sometimes, a familiar face is more credible. If that’s not possible, a heartfelt, respectful message might still reach her. Focus on her well-being, share evidence, and encourage her to trust her instincts. Remember, your intention is to help her, not to create more drama. Take care of yourself too!

fire551 • 1mo ago

It's tough to be in this situation! If you decide to reach out, keep it brief and focus on the facts. Maybe send her a friendly message on Messenger, letting her know you have important info about him. Be straightforward but gentle, and share your screenshots. She deserves to know the truth, even if it's hard to hear. Good luck!

gabrielknight • 1mo ago

What is your main goal in reaching out to her—helping her avoid further pain, seeking closure for yourself, or holding him accountable?

wolfpack998 • 1mo ago

It's commendable that you want to protect her from further heartbreak. If you're set on reaching out, consider a concise message through Messenger. Express sympathy, share key facts (without overwhelming details), and include screenshots as evidence. Be prepared for disbelief; prioritize her emotional safety. If there’s resistance, respect her space and consider contacting her friends discreetly. Ultimately, your honesty could help her avoid further pain.

sadiebrooklyn • 1mo ago

It's commendable that you want to inform her to prevent further hurt. If you decide to reach out, keep your message brief, clear, and empathetic. Acknowledge that she may not believe you, but share the key facts without being confrontational. Offer to provide evidence if she wants. Alternatively, a mutual friend could help deliver the message discreetly. Prioritize her feelings while being honest about the situation.