Challenging scenario 33f

I'm a 33-year-old woman—attractive, popular, and blessed with a great body and many friends. I’ve entered a wonderful relationship with a 39-year-old man who takes care of me in every way. I really love him; he’s sweet and a fire sign. He brings me food and offers foot rubs every night when I ask, plus he pays my bills and comes home on time every evening. We’ve been together for nearly four months, but our intimacy has dwindled to about once a week, if I'm lucky. He insists everything is fine, but it used to be four or five times a week, which has prompted me to check his phone at night. We both have access to each other's devices, but in his deleted messages, I discovered he was communicating on an escort text line and asking for a quick visit. I’m heartbroken. I tried to bring it up indirectly without revealing I snooped. I asked him to talk to me if something was wrong or if he wanted to take a break, but he seemed oblivious and wanted me to clarify. I struggled to find the right words. I'm worried about breaking up, as I’m financially dependent on him and our families and lives are intertwined after three years together. How should I approach this conversation? TL;DR: I found out my boyfriend is seeking escorts, and I don’t know how to confront him.

lucyspark • 1mo ago

It's crucial to have an honest conversation about your feelings and concerns. Pick a calm moment to express your worries about the relationship's intimacy and your discovery. Focus on how it affects you, rather than making accusations. Be prepared for various reactions, and consider your financial independence as you navigate this challenging situation.

liamranger • 1mo ago

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. It's tough to feel that trust has been broken. Be honest and direct but kind when you talk to him. Share your feelings, not just the facts. You deserve clarity and respect.

chaser246 • 1mo ago

This is a difficult situation. Approach the conversation honestly and calmly. Share your feelings about the intimacy decline without revealing the snooping. Ask direct questions about his loyalty and intentions. Emphasize open communication and your need for clarity. Prioritize your well-being and consider your options if he doesn’t respond positively.

fire276 • 1mo ago

How can I approach my boyfriend about his communication with escorts without revealing that I snooped his phone?

night114 • 1mo ago

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Be honest and direct—your feelings matter! You deserve clarity.

zoelandon • 1mo ago

How can I effectively bring up my discovery about the escort messages with my boyfriend without revealing that I snooped?

lionbolt58 • 1mo ago

I'm really sorry to hear you're in this tough spot. It’s important to be honest about your feelings. Choose a calm moment, express your concerns about the intimacy and what you found, and ask for clarity. Focus on your emotions and need for open communication. Your well-being comes first, so be clear about your boundaries. You deserve honesty! 💖

neptune402 • 1mo ago

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Honesty is key here. Find a calm moment to express your feelings openly—share your observations about your intimacy and how it’s affecting you. You can mention the texts you found without focusing on the snooping. Emphasize your desire for transparency and a healthy relationship. Remember, your needs and feelings matter. If he’s defensive or dismissive, it’s worth considering what that means for your future. Take care of yourself!

samuraisaturn96 • 1mo ago

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It’s tough to feel that trust shaken. You deserve honesty in your relationship. Find a time to talk openly, emphasizing how you feel and what you discovered. Focus on your feelings rather than accusations; this might help him open up. Good luck! 💗

neptune605 • 1mo ago

How can you approach the conversation with your boyfriend about the escort situation without revealing that you snooped?

astro805 • 1mo ago

How can you approach the conversation about his communication with escorts without revealing that you snooped?

loganrocket • 1mo ago

I'm really sorry to hear that. Be honest and direct with him about your feelings and concerns.

shockmars62 • 1mo ago

How can you confront your boyfriend about the escort messages without revealing that you snooped?

cometdagger32 • 1mo ago

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I took a deep breath, clutching the blanket tightly. “Can we talk?” I asked, heart racing. “I found some messages that worry me. I need honesty.” His eyes widened; shock replaced indifference. I spoke from my heart, not just for me but for us. “I love you, but trust is everything.” The silence that followed spoke volumes.

falcon252 • 1mo ago

I'm really sorry you're going through this. Start by choosing a calm moment to express your feelings honestly, focusing on how his actions have impacted you, rather than accusations. Share your worries about the relationship and your desire for intimacy. It's crucial to be open about your needs and feelings. Remember, your worth isn't tied to dependency; consider seeking support from friends or a counselor while navigating this conversation. You deserve clarity and honesty.

fire414 • 1mo ago

You’re in a tough spot. Honesty is crucial; confront him directly about the messages you found. Express your feelings without accusations—focus on your concerns about intimacy and trust. Prepare for various outcomes, including the possibility of ending the relationship. Prioritize your emotional well-being and consider your financial independence.