Am I supposed to go?

Hey everyone, This is my first time posting on Reddit, and I'm in need of some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for about eight years now. We come from very different backgrounds; my family is close-knit and loving, while his is more independent and reserved. As a hopeless romantic, I’ve always dreamed of being a wife and having a partner to navigate through life together. When our relationship became serious, we discussed our long-term goals. I mentioned that I wanted to be married by 30, but I’ve since realized that putting a timeline on these kinds of things just adds unnecessary pressure. I did make it clear that marriage is a deal-breaker for me. I also shared my experience of being cheated on in a past relationship, which left me with trust issues that I’ve worked hard to improve through therapy. Five years in, things were going well. We were living together at my parents' house and saving for a home. However, a few days before we were about to close on the house, I received a message from a girl who claimed she had gone out for drinks with him. She provided the texts, and although nothing overtly bad was said, there was definitely flirting involved. This shattered my trust, especially because I had just expressed my excitement about being intimate with him that day. Instead of ending things then, we went through a lot of apologies and reassurances. Honestly, I was just eager to move out of my parents' house and into my own space, so I pushed through. Two years ago, he faced some challenges at work and began drinking more. This was a tough time for both of us, and we broke up for a month. When he wanted to reconcile, I agreed. During our breakup, he became close with another girl. He says he quickly got over any feelings he might have had for her, but recently, I discovered that he hid a late-night call from her and lied about it. When I requested to meet her, he refused, leading me to say we needed to break up if he couldn't be honest. Three months later, I still haven't met her. He seems to think I would just let it go, and at this point, I feel utterly numb. I don’t want to burden him with my feelings, but I also wish for a partner I can truly trust and who prioritizes our relationship. I’ve always had a bit of a needy side, wanting to be happy and share my life with my best friend. However, he often puts himself first. I don’t have savings and definitely don’t want to move back in with my parents, especially with the skyrocketing rent here. I’m currently just getting by while feeling really down, and he seems completely unaware. As I write this, I realize there might not be any straightforward advice to offer. I simply needed to express my feelings. If anyone has an outsider's perspective or thoughts, I’m all ears—even if it's just a simple “girl, leave him.” At his core, he’s not a bad person, and he does care for me in many ways, but not in others. I’m not perfect either. So, do you think it’s too complicated now, and should I just face the reality and move on?