Am I in the wrong for communicating with someone else since my boyfriend keeps neglecting me?

I’m a 31-year-old woman, and my boyfriend is 33. We’ve been in a relationship for three years, but we’ve never met face-to-face—I'm based in Asia, while he lives in Africa. In our dynamic, I tend to be the anxious one, and he’s more avoidant. When we first connected, he was dealing with a breakup, and after just two weeks of friendship, he asked me to be his girlfriend, to which I happily agreed. Over time, he has played a significant role in helping me discover my purpose in life. He’s supportive and encourages me to improve myself. However, he comes from a very toxic family background, having experienced significant emotional abuse in his childhood, which has impacted his adult life. Early on, I offered to move to his country for work, but he declined, expressing a desire to become the best version of himself before making any commitments. I respected his wish, believing this process would take a year. Unfortunately, he hasn’t made any progress—he's still jobless and stagnant. Despite repeatedly promising to visit me, he never followed through. I let his lack of follow-through slide too many times, and now I feel he takes it for granted. Whenever he fails to keep even small promises, it leads to arguments, and over time, I’ve begun to lose faith in his words. I’ve consistently communicated my feelings and needs, but he tends to ignore them. When I express frustration, it often results in me saying things I regret, while he focuses on my tone instead of my concerns. Additionally, he has a pattern of blocking me on social media during our disagreements, which makes me anxious and disrupts my sleep. Meanwhile, he seems unaffected and messages me the next day as if nothing has happened. Despite my repeated pleas for him to stop this behavior, he continues to do it. We have a nightly ritual of calling before bed that we’ve never missed, and when he blocks me, it feels like he’s giving up on us. After one such incident, I reached my breaking point and messaged an old fling for comfort because I felt unloved. My boyfriend found out and nearly ended our relationship. Fast forward four months, things were still shaky, so I issued him an ultimatum: he needed to buy a ticket to visit by February 20th, or I would end things. However, given his history, I'm skeptical he will follow through. Whenever I seek reassurance, he tells me I’m pressuring him or threatens to hang up, which leaves me feeling like he’s just waiting for the deadline to walk away. Last month, after another blocking episode, I contacted the old fling again, and we’ve been casually chatting and calling whenever I’m ignored by my boyfriend—there’s no romantic involvement, just support on my part. Recently, my boyfriend lost a close family member. I reached out to comfort him, but he went silent for three days, leaving me worried, sad, and angry. Eventually, I made the difficult decision to end the relationship, as I had felt heartbroken for some time. I told him that I had been in touch with the "fling" again. It turns out that during those three days of silence, he was trying to arrange the funds to buy a ticket to visit me but chose not to communicate that at all. Now he’s accusing me of cheating. I recognize I shouldn’t have reached out to someone else for support, but his continued avoidance and emotional unavailability pushed me to seek connection elsewhere. In short, I’ve been navigating a long-distance relationship for three years with a boyfriend who often breaks promises and ignores my needs. His pattern of blocking me during fights increases my anxiety, and after one such instance, I reached out to an old friend for emotional connection (albeit without any physical involvement). Now he’s labeling me as unfaithful. Am I in the wrong?