I'm a 29-year-old man and I've found myself in two half-relationships simultaneously while dealing with cancer. What should I do?

Here's a rewritten version of your text: To provide some background: Last year, I was diagnosed with cancer and underwent chemotherapy. While I eventually regained my health, the aftermath left me feeling isolated, leading me to escape through alcohol, which spiraled out of control. Emotionally, I’m still struggling and feel like a complete wreck. Just last week, I received the distressing news that my cancer has returned, and I’ll need surgery, possibly followed by more chemotherapy. Understandably, I’m feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. I met Girl A while traveling abroad for a few days. Shortly after our meeting, I had to rush home due to my cancer diagnosis. We’ve kept in touch ever since. She is genuinely wonderful—understanding, intelligent, and surprisingly fond of me. Our beliefs and ways of thinking align remarkably well, which is rare for me. I’ve been upfront with her about my lowest moments, including my battle with alcoholism. She seems to understand me better than anyone ever has, and I hold her in high regard. However, I find myself struggling to feel much emotionally. It’s strange because on paper she seems perfect, yet my feelings for her are more of appreciation for her kindness rather than any romantic attraction. She plans to visit and care for me post-surgery, and I dread the thought of hurting or betraying her. Then there’s Girl B, my ex. While she carries her own baggage, she’s the only person I’ve ever truly loved. She’s incredibly beautiful and possesses a kind, insightful nature. Although we’re quite different, I feel that after nearly a year of no contact and two years apart, I understand and love her more now than I did when we were together. I hurt our relationship by not being fully present, but I’ve grown a lot since then. Unfortunately, she didn’t support me during my chemotherapy; she canceled visits last minute, which really hurt, though I’ve since forgiven her since she had her own struggles to deal with. Those times were incredibly lonely and tough, and her absence made it worse. Recently, we’ve started talking again, engaging in honest and meaningful conversations. She even visited me during detox, which meant a lot and showed her acceptance of me at my lowest point. Now, she’s expressed that she sees a future together. So, where do I go from here? I don’t want to hurt either of these women. I also don’t want to face my cancer journey alone, no matter how selfish that may seem. I hold out hope that my feelings for Girl A might grow; she truly seems ideal, but it hasn't happened over the past year. Part of me wants to withdraw from both relationships, claiming I need to navigate my cancer journey alone, but I know that isn’t a healthy approach. I’m not in a committed relationship with either of them, so technically there’s no cheating, but it feels that way. Throughout this experience, I’ve become more open and learned to express vulnerability, which has positively impacted my relationships, but I’m still wrestling with confusion and a lot of personal struggles. Cancer really plays with your emotions. I apologize if this post seems jumbled; the upcoming surgery has my usual overthinking running rampant.