My girlfriend (26, female) and I (34, male) have been together for two years, and she believes I may be autistic (which I’m not). This has led her to question our future plans regarding having children.

I'm a 34-year-old man in a two-year relationship with my 26-year-old girlfriend. Recently, she's expressed concerns that I might be autistic, which I don't believe to be the case. She's also uncertain about having children, especially considering my nephew has autism along with serious health issues—something she's been aware of since we started dating. Aside from my nephew, there are no known cases of autism in my family. She’s mentioned that the idea of having a child with special needs is overwhelming for her, and my supposed autism adds to her anxiety. Occasionally, she shows frustration regarding my behaviors, which she associates with autism—this happens roughly once a month. Overall, our two-year relationship has been quite positive. She is kind, family-oriented, and we have a harmonious living situation after nine months together. I consider this my healthiest relationship to date compared to three previous ones. Recently, an incident sparked a deeper conversation. While she was out dining with friends, I was home watching a movie. With the washing machine running next to the living room, I used noise-canceling headphones to better hear the film. When she returned, she had her hands full and was upset I didn't hear her knocking to open the door. I apologized, explaining that I hadn't heard her due to the headphones, but she responded, “ugh, clearly you're on the spectrum.” Her comment shocked me and left me feeling frustrated for a couple of reasons: First, I don't have autism, and it's perplexing that she feels so certain about this diagnosis despite lacking any medical expertise or experience with autistic individuals. I've reassured her multiple times about my status, yet she clings to her belief. Second, even if I were autistic, I find it troubling that she would express frustration over a condition I can't control. This incident opened a dialogue about her feelings and our future, especially since we’re approaching a more serious stage in our relationship. She apologized for her reaction and shared that her frustrations have been growing in light of her concerns about my "supposed" autism and the implications of my nephew's condition. While she indicated that her feelings might shift slightly if I were diagnosed—whether or not I am on the spectrum—the core issue about autism in my family still persists. I’m seeking advice on how to navigate this situation because at 34, I have limited time to focus on building a family, which I desire. To summarize: My girlfriend believes I’m autistic (which I’m not), and my nephew's autism raises doubts for her about our future and the prospect of having children. She often feels frustrated by my supposed behaviors linked to autism.