Breakups and Divorces • johnnora • 8d ago

My girlfriend, 26, who I've been with for over five years, wants to break up with me, 30. Any advice?

My girlfriend (26F) and I (30M) have been in a relationship for over five years, and we recently moved to a new city with our two cats. We’ve built a life together, but she now believes it's best to end things due to the toll my mental and physical health issues have taken on both of us. When we relocated, we struggled to make new friends and didn’t have family nearby, which meant it was just the two of us, all day, every day, for years. The pandemic further isolated us, and although we once thrived in our little bubble, it's ultimately affected our relationship. At one point, we developed separation anxiety when apart, and I unknowingly became codependent. I’ve been dealing with anxiety, ADHD, OCD, depression, and chronic GERD, which led to feelings of being stuck and hopeless. I didn't have access to healthcare for a long time, so I was unable to seek help for these issues until recently. I’m finally starting to take steps toward improvement by beginning therapy this week. I had hoped to try couples therapy or at least wait until I’m on medication to see if I could start to feel better and change my ways. She still cares for me, but she feels exhausted and believes our relationship has run its course. Her mother encouraged her to break up, drawing parallels to her own divorce, and my girlfriend now thinks it’s best to part ways. I understand her perspective, but it’s difficult because I finally feel like I’m moving in the right direction, and I can’t shake the feeling that it’s too late. We’re still living together while we figure things out, but I can’t help but think this isn’t how it should end. Any advice would really be appreciated.


willowthunder • 8d ago
It sounds like you’re in a very challenging situation. Have you had an open and honest conversation with her about your feelings and the progress you hope to make through therapy?
christianmystic • 8d ago
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. It’s tough when relationships face such challenges. Focus on your own healing first; showing growth can make a difference. Communication is key—share your feelings honestly with her. If she’s still open to discussing it, perhaps a couples session could help clarify things for both of you. Take care!