Hello, I'm feeling a bit lost right now. I'm a 25-year-old woman and my boyfriend, who's 27, and I have been experiencing some tension in our relationship. We've been together for four years and have faced numerous challenges, but recently we seemed to have made some progress. However, now he’s expressing a desire to break up and goes back and forth on his decision every day. I’m unsure of what to do next—should I try to hold on or let this relationship end?

I’m feeling really lost right now. I’m a 25-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 27. We’ve been together for four years, and it’s been a rocky journey—everything from small disagreements to serious issues like cheating and self-esteem struggles. Despite that, we always managed to work things out. But recently, he called to express doubts about our relationship, even contemplating a breakup right before Christmas. I thought we were in a decent place; although we had a tough argument, it revolved around his lack of effort and how he often prioritized his own needs over mine while using our mental health struggles as excuses. Hearing him mention a breakup shattered me; I couldn’t believe he was really considering it. I do acknowledge that I made a mistake earlier this year when I got vulnerable, drunk, and acted foolishly with a friend. I owned up to it, and while he had every right to be upset, he initially said he wanted to work things out. Everything seemed fine until our recent argument about him pulling his weight in the relationship. I’ve forgiven him multiple times for his past mistakes, but when I messed up once, he’s suddenly talking about breaking up. After he said he was thinking of ending things, I felt desperate and pleaded with him to stay. I didn’t want to step into the new year uncertain about our relationship, fearing he might leave me right after. So I pressured him to make a decision, and he said he wanted to break up. I accepted it, telling him we could still live together until he moved in with his best friend, but I would no longer see him as my partner. It felt ridiculous, especially since I had been considering proposing to him in February and had so many plans that now felt pointless. Then, an hour later, he changed his mind and suggested we try to work things out. We had an intimate moment, went to bed saying we loved each other, but the next morning he mentioned he still felt inclined to break up and wanted me to meet his family. That left me devastated, thinking Christmas Eve might be the last time I see his family while trying to stay composed. Once we got home, he reiterated his confusion—saying he loves me but is unsure if we can make it work. The past few days have been emotionally draining, as he’s shown some distance, telling me he cherishes our memories yet hinting at leaving. I told him I didn’t want to hear that sort of talk, as it felt too much like a goodbye. He reassured me that he doesn’t want to mislead me, which I understand, but I just feel so exhausted. I’ve struggled with my mistakes, but he’s done worse and yet I've tried to move past it because I genuinely love him, and the thought of us splitting is incredibly painful. I’m starting to realize that things might not be the same anymore, and I have to accept that reality. So, my question is: should I keep waiting and hoping he changes his mind, even if it’s emotionally taxing, or is it time to let go?