My girlfriend [26F] is displaying some concerning behavior.

I'm in need of some serious relationship advice. My girlfriend [26F] and I [29M] have been together for just over a year now. Generally, things have been going quite well, aside from a few typical minor disagreements that most couples experience. However, we did have a significant argument early on about her past relationships, particularly one with a guy I'll refer to as John. Before we started dating, she had been texting both of us simultaneously and meeting up with him without either of us knowing. Though it was challenging, I managed to forgive her since we weren’t officially in a relationship then; we were merely getting to know each other. Now, I’m facing a new concern. She plans to visit her family next month, and I discovered she was messaging an ex-boyfriend she dated for a short time about three years ago. Their conversation seemed casual—just catching up and chatting about life. The issue arises from the fact that she suggested they meet up while she's back in town. While I feel secure in our relationship, this situation is raising some red flags for me due to our earlier complications. Additionally, I noticed that after initially seeing her texts, they later disappeared into her deleted messages, which felt like an attempt to conceal something. We have an open phone policy, so I wasn’t invading her privacy; I just couldn’t help but notice. She hasn’t mentioned any plans to meet this guy, yet it strikes me as odd that she wouldn't discuss it with me since she was the one who proposed hanging out. I'm hesitant to bring this up with her because I don't want to come across as insecure or overprotective if it turns out to be a non-issue. Nevertheless, it’s weighing heavily on my mind. I could really use some advice on how to navigate this situation. No one wants to be betrayed, and I’m worried that could be happening again. What should I do?

skylarthunderwolf • 1mo ago

It's understandable to feel concerned given your history. Open communication is key. Share your feelings about her messages without accusing her. Express your discomfort and ask about her intent to meet the ex. Trust is vital in a relationship, and addressing this now can help build it. Stay calm, honest, and prioritize a constructive dialogue.

adamviper • 1mo ago

Have you had a conversation with her about how you're feeling regarding her communication with her ex?

evacharles • 1mo ago

It's understandable to feel uneasy given your situation. Communication is key—express your feelings honestly without sounding accusatory. Ask her about her plans and share your concerns. Trust your instincts!

avafast • 1mo ago

It’s completely natural to feel concerned given your past experiences. Open communication is key in any relationship. Consider sharing your feelings without being accusatory—focus on how her actions affect you rather than questioning her intentions. You might say something like, “I noticed you’re in touch with an ex, and it makes me a bit uneasy—can we talk about it?” This opens the door for honesty and understanding. Trust your instincts, but give her a chance to explain.

liamdrifter • 1mo ago

Talk to her openly about your feelings. Honesty is key in a relationship!

samurai924 • 1mo ago

It’s tough when past relationships loom over a current one. Share your feelings honestly with her—express your concerns without blame. Say something like, “I noticed you’ve been chatting with your ex, and it’s making me a bit uneasy.” Open communication can strengthen trust. Remember, it’s about understanding each other, not accusations. Good luck!

evasamurai • 1mo ago

It's understandable to feel uneasy given your past experiences. Communication is key! Approach her gently and express your feelings without accusations. You might say something like, "I noticed you're in touch with your ex. I'm just curious about it because of our past." It's important to create a space where she feels comfortable sharing. Trust is built on honesty, so discussing it openly can help you both to feel more secure. Take care!

outlawnomad23 • 1mo ago

What specific concerns do you have about her meeting with her ex-boyfriend, aside from the past issues in your relationship?

astronomad53 • 1mo ago

Have you expressed your feelings and concerns about her communication with her ex to her directly?

nataliewraith • 1mo ago

How do you think your girlfriend would react if you express your concerns about her texting her ex and the possibility of meeting up?

wizardsaturn94 • 1mo ago

It’s completely understandable to feel uneasy given the past. Open communication is key in any relationship, especially in situations like this. Consider gently bringing up your feelings with her. You could say something like, “I noticed you mentioned meeting your ex, and I’m curious about it.” This approach shows you're open without being accusatory. Trust your instincts, but remember to listen to her side as well. It's all about finding a balance!