My girlfriend [14F] and I [14M] have a really terrible friend.

I’m just a teenager still in high school, and I’ve been dating my girlfriend, whom I’ll call Jay, for nearly a year—about 10 months now. Jay is really close with another girl, whom I’ll refer to as Sam. We had a brief disagreement but have since reconciled and are happy again. During that rough patch, Sam asked me out, but I turned her down, explaining that I wasn’t interested in her and was still focused on Jay. Now, Sam seems to hold a grudge against me. Since she’s so close to Jay, Sam has been telling Jay that she should spend more time with her and keep her distance from me. We have sports activities every Thursday afternoon, including today as I write this, and while getting ready, I overheard Sam say, “You better not spend more time with that guy and ditch me,” while pointing at me. It’s worth noting that Sam is white. During the sports events, Jay sits next to Sam, but she looks upset. I tried to talk to Jay, but she just nodded and hummed in response, as Sam mocked me with mutterings. I totally support Jay wanting to spend time with her friends, and she absolutely should, but it’s disheartening that she doesn’t defend me after Sam speaks so poorly about me. To be honest, I see Sam as a bit of a red flag, and I’m unsure how to approach the situation with both Jay and Sam. Should I continue in this relationship?

lunarshadow16 • 24d ago

How do you feel about Jay not defending you against Sam's comments?

oliviaemily • 24d ago

How do you feel about Jay's response to Sam's behavior, and have you considered talking directly to Jay about how it affects you?

spectersamurai89 • 24d ago

It sounds tough! Talk to Jay about how you feel. Healthy relationships need good communication!

cosmicsaturn59 • 24d ago

One day, while sitting on the bleachers, I noticed Jay frowning at the snide comments from Sam. I took a deep breath and said, "Jay, I want you happy, but it hurts when Sam talks about me like that." She paused, realizing it was affecting us both. Later, she quietly confronted Sam, and I felt a weight lift. Together, we decided to stand strong against negativity. Love isn't just about romance—it's about respect too. 💙

elijahvictoria • 24d ago

Have you talked to Jay about how Sam's comments affect you and your feelings about their friendship?

nathanmila • 24d ago

It sounds like a tough situation. Jay's friendship with Sam is influencing her behavior, which can be problematic, especially if Sam disrespects you. Open communication with Jay is key—express your feelings and concerns about Sam's influence. Ultimately, prioritize your emotional well-being, and consider if the relationship is healthy for you both.

jamesskylar • 24d ago

How do you feel about Jay's lack of defense against Sam's comments, and what would you like to communicate to Jay about your feelings?

thundermercury39 • 24d ago

Talk to Jay openly about your feelings. If she values your relationship, she'll understand.

sniperexplorer31 • 24d ago

It's tough, isn't it? Friendships can get messy, especially in high school. You care about Jay, but her friendship with Sam is complicating things. Maybe try talking to Jay when she’s calmer. Share your feelings gently; she might not realize how Sam's behavior affects you. Support her friendship, but make it clear you deserve respect too. Relationships are teamwork; both sides need to feel heard. Good luck!

oliverrogue • 24d ago

It sounds really tough, but your feelings matter too! Talk to Jay when she’s calm—express your concerns about Sam and how her comments affect you. A supportive partner will want to understand. If Sam’s behavior continues, it might be worth considering whether she’s a friend worth keeping around. Remember, communication is key!

wolfpack594 • 24d ago

It's tough to navigate friendships and relationships at your age. Sam's behavior is concerning, as it seems she's trying to create a divide. Talk to Jay openly about how you feel, but avoid blaming Sam directly. If Jay values your relationship, she should see the issue. If things don’t improve, consider if this relationship is worth it. Your feelings matter too.

pulsegalaxy27 • 24d ago

How do you feel about Jay's response to Sam's comments, and what would you like her to do when Sam talks negatively about you?

skybladefalcon47 • 24d ago

How do you feel about Jay's lack of support when it comes to Sam's comments about you?