My boyfriend [32m] of four years and I [30f] nearly broke up last month because of differing goals. We managed to come to a compromise and chose to stay together, but prior to reaching that conclusion, he did something that raised my suspicions. What advice do you have on how to move forward?

He was on the verge of proposing when we had a major argument about his career—his true passion—which he doesn’t want to change for me. This conflict was significant for him, as it marked the first time he seriously questioned our relationship. He expressed that he believed we should break up, suggesting I wouldn’t be happy in the future if I continued wanting to change him. This was heartbreaking for me, as I thought we could work through it. After some time to cool off, we discussed everything and found a compromise. Now I feel okay with the situation because he is willing to prioritize the aspects of my life that matter to me. He still intends to propose and plans to do so this summer, now that we are aligned in our life goals. That said, I have some concerns regarding a decision he made during our short breakup, which lasted less than a week. A few days in, he was struggling emotionally, despite being the one to initiate the breakup. He got unusually drunk and deleted all our photos from social media. To make matters more complicated, he followed a girl he claimed he had no lingering feelings for from when we first started dating four years ago. Although he never dated her, he mentioned there were mutual feelings between them several years ago, but it never progressed because she lived far away. Early in our relationship, I noticed he was concealing his messages with her, and I admit I went through his phone once and saw the messages. There was nothing inappropriate except for one instance where he sent her an emoji in response to a photo she posted. When I confronted him about it, I expressed my discomfort regarding his secrecy, especially since he had previously liked her. He assured me he only considered her a friend, even though their connection lasted just a few months. To maintain our peace, he agreed to cut off contact with her. Now, four years later, after our near-breakup, he follows that girl? Now that we've reconciled, he claims it was just a drunken impulse to cope with his emotions. He insists he didn't message her or do anything besides following her, but I can't help but wonder why he sought her out in the first place, especially right after deleting our photos. I can’t shake the feeling that she’s still on his mind, although he insists I'm overreacting. He also said her account was "suggested to him," but I saw in his search history that he actively searched for her after I asked him to show me. His lack of awareness regarding social media means he forgot to erase that search. Am I overreacting to question our relationship over this? He’s generally trustworthy, though we’ve had issues in the past where he struggled to express himself and this led to some deception, but nothing too serious. The only significant issue for me revolves around this particular girl. He’s never cheated, nor do I believe he would. However, I worry he might see her as the one that got away and that I'm just the girlfriend who’s willing to stick around. My self-esteem has really taken a hit because he finds her incredibly attractive and she fits his ideal type in terms of both personality and looks. It feels like I wasn’t enough for him and that he turned to her the moment our relationship was in jeopardy. I would appreciate any insight on this situation. Thank you.