I'm an 18-year-old guy and my girlfriend is also 18. We're facing some challenges in our relationship, and it's really affecting me. I'm not sure how to fix things. Any suggestions?

I (18m) have been dating my girlfriend (18f) for just over a year. We both attend college, but she studies in a different town 400 kilometers away, so we’re currently in a long-distance relationship. To be honest, our relationship has seen many highs and lows. We argue frequently, often about trivial things that just seem to drain our energy and time without resolving anything. One significant issue is that whenever we fight, she often threatens to break up. Phrases like "we're done," "I'm breaking up with you," and "you're the worst" have become quite common. Honestly, these have lost their impact over time. In the heat of the moment, she says hurtful and unnecessary things, and while we've discussed this before, I don’t see any real change. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for me to cope with her lashing out. I genuinely love her and want to make this work, but communication feels so broken when she expresses herself this way. This pattern has been present since the beginning, and I initially thought it was my fault; I believed I needed to treat her better. I tried to brush off her insults, but lately, it’s taking a toll on my self-esteem. When I feel attacked, I find myself protecting my own feelings, which doesn’t help the situation. I take responsibility when I mess up, but it seems like she holds onto grudges and doesn’t offer forgiveness. This has deeply affected me, and I feel like I'm losing sight of who I am. Here are some examples of her comments: a) "We're done here," followed by a long message about gratitude but stating we’re ending things. b) "You aren't the only one for me," and "I deserve better." c) "Leave my life," and "I tore up your letters." d) "Don't forget I stuck around despite your issues," and "I should have found someone else." e) "My guy friends treat me better than you." She claims I make her feel this way. Here are a couple of quick stories for context. Initially, we lived in the same city, but now she’s far away for her studies. During the Diwali holidays, she visited for 10 days, but I could only spend four with her since I was traveling abroad for my dad’s birthday. Understandably, she was frustrated, but it escalated into a significant argument. I felt exhausted and couldn’t enjoy my trip, feeling torn between my commitments. In another instance, when she visited for a month, I had to attend a cadet camp for ten days. During this time, she felt neglected and claimed I was always busy with my own stuff. Now that she’s back in college, we struggle to find time together, as she’s busy with her friends and schoolwork. I make an effort to stay in touch late at night, but I often feel exhausted by the time we connect, and she doesn’t acknowledge my efforts. For example, sometimes when I wait for her to finish up, I hear, "I never asked you to wait for me." This leaves me feeling unappreciated, especially since I also manage my commitments as an athlete with upcoming matches. I once asked her for some appreciation, to which she responded that she didn’t want to be loved conditionally. I thought appreciation was vital for a relationship. While going through our old texts, I’ve noticed comparisons to others, particularly her ex. She frequently mentions how they treated her better or how friends give her more attention than I do. One time, she accused me of not putting in any effort since October, but I recently made an effort to surprise her for Valentine's Day. I traveled to her town with gifts, but I arrived two hours late due to my family’s plans. Instead of a warm welcome, she rebuffed me, upset about the wait, and later in front of her friends, she erupted in anger, saying she felt happier with them than with me. It left me feeling completely isolated and hurt. She claims I don’t manage my time well, and I disagree. I’m juggling my commitments, but when I focus on my own life, she's quick to criticize. I want to be supportive and have been there for her during her tough times. According to her, I make several mistakes: 1. I sometimes fall asleep without letting her know, which frustrates her, although I’m genuinely trying to improve that. 2. She believes there’s a lack of effort or time from me, which I find hard to understand. 3. I didn’t stand up for her during a misunderstanding with my mom, which she felt was disrespectful. 4. There are other small misunderstandings I don’t even recall. I acknowledge I may have made mistakes as well, and I want to discuss them calmly. It’s challenging to communicate with her when she gets triggered easily, and I’m unable to comfort her in those moments. She now states there's no initiative from my side, which makes me pause and reflect on our dynamic. I wonder how she would react if the roles were reversed. Relationships require effort from both parties, yet I feel like I'm constantly on the defensive. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to express my feelings, as I feel like I have to tread carefully around her reactions. It’s exhausting, and I now struggle to feel the same warmth toward her due to all the hurtful things said. If you’ve read this far, I appreciate your support. I’m feeling a bit clearer in my thoughts, and I welcome any advice or suggestions you might have. In summary, my girlfriend and I are caught in a cycle of hurtful arguments, and I find her reactions increasingly difficult to handle.