I'm a 22-year-old woman, and I'm considering ending my relationship with my 23-year-old partner, but I have some concerns.

I've been in this relationship since 2022, after I moved up here to escape a terrible situation. Initially, I wasn't interested in dating again, but I downloaded Tinder as a distraction. I ended up making friends there since I didn’t know many people in the state, except for my family. That's how I met my partner. We initially planned a casual Netflix night, but when it was time for me to go home, he invited me to stay the night. I declined and went back, and that night was pretty rough for me. He revealed later on that he had already developed feelings for me by that point, although he didn't share that right away. When I returned home, my roommate/cousin asked how it went, and I told him it was awful before going to bed. The next day, my partner asked if I wanted to come over, and I agreed. We met up a few times in the following days, and each time he asked me to stay over, I said no. By the end of the week, he invited me to a gathering with his roommates, and out of boredom, I decided to attend. At the end of the night, he asked me to stay over since he had driven me and was too drunk to go home. Later, I learned he had been drinking and using substances while hanging out with his friends. Staying the night became a routine, and eventually, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I accepted. Looking back, I realize that I’m not sharing every detail, but I have concerns about feeling like I’ve developed a sort of Stockholm syndrome. For instance, I mentioned wanting pet rats, and two days later, he surprised me with them. As the relationship progressed, we had an argument when I confided in him about my mental health struggles. He called me the most selfish person in the world, though he apologized within about 15 minutes, claiming he didn’t mean it. Unfortunately, similar incidents happened frequently up until about a year ago. I ignored my friends’ advice to leave because he controlled aspects of my life like what I wore and where I went. He constantly accused me of cheating—particularly if I didn’t answer my phone immediately—or if I was out with coworkers or had my phone on sleep mode. It became frustrating because I couldn’t even go to bars with my friends. He had a rule against going to bars without one another because he often found himself in conflict. I would suggest going together, but he wasn’t interested in the bar scene, leaving me unable to go. If my coworkers invited me out and a guy was present, I wouldn’t attend. This created anxiety surrounding interactions with men at work, leading me to be cold or rude just to avoid his jealousy. I hated being mean, but it felt necessary to prevent any unwanted attention. He would also start arguments if I interrupted him while gaming, snapping at me if I got too close. Though we’ve had many conversations about these issues, he always claims he’ll work on them, but nothing has changed. I’ve tried to break up with him about five times, but each time he panics and promises to improve or asks me to wait until our external stressors, like money issues, settle down. Being on the lease restricts my ability to leave easily. Fast forward to last night—I’ve been dealing with an allergic reaction to the water where I live and had to take medication prescribed by a doctor that made it unsafe for me to drive. I asked him to take me for ice cream, just a short drive away, and he threw a fit. He expressed frustration because he wanted to focus on gaming that night instead of caring for home responsibilities, which made me feel terrible. He later said he only asked so I wouldn’t disturb him while he was playing. I want to leave, but we have another year left on our lease, and I’m not in a good financial position to afford another place while managing two rents. He has also mentioned that if I ever left, he would always try to win me back. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Are there any options I might be overlooking?