I [F21] want to repair my relationship with my boyfriend [M21], but I'm worried that it might be too late.

I (21F) am trying to salvage my relationship with my boyfriend (21M), but I'm unsure if it's even possible. We've been together for almost four years, having started our relationship in our senior year of high school. We got engaged just five months in because he was planning to join the army. Unfortunately, he failed his psychological evaluation and chose a different career path. About a year into our relationship, I began using Nexplanon birth control, which led to a gradual decline in my mental health. Things took a turn for the worse right before a planned trip to Florida. While I was on his phone helping him, I discovered that he had subscribed to his ex's OnlyFans account. This revelation sent me into a spiral of anxiety and paranoia. I insisted that he delete the account, remove all contacts of other women, and I started to monitor his phone closely. The hormones from the birth control transformed me into someone I hardly recognized, as I became anxiously attached. As I pulled him closer, he withdrew. This cycle of toxicity lasted for about a year until I finally had the birth control removed. After stopping the birth control, I realized the damage had already been done. He became emotionally and physically distant, often manipulating and gaslighting me. In an attempt to cope, I immersed myself in work, where I met someone who filled the emotional void that my boyfriend was unable to fill. Though I never cheated, this distance only grew between us and sex became a chore, leading to resentment on both sides. Eventually, I reached a breaking point. I quit my job and fell into a deep depression. Desperate to fix things and find happiness with him again, I tried to be present and supportive in hopes that he would reciprocate. However, that effort proved unsuccessful and we've now decided to take some time apart. I go home during the week and see him only on weekends. Our communication has dwindled to a single goodnight text each day, leaving me feeling anxious as I try to find the right moment to connect with him. During this period apart, I suspect he may have returned to OnlyFans. I'm unsure how to approach the topic, fearing that he might suggest I leave if I'm unhappy, as he seems to be at the end of his rope. It feels like I have no leverage; he may continue engaging in behavior that hurts me without concern for whether I stay or go. We've built a life together, with close families, planned trips, and a future ahead. I've invested so much into this relationship, but if he is indeed returning to old habits, I'm at a loss for how to proceed. I recognize that my emotional instability contributed to our current situation, and I wish he had respected my boundaries from the start. It might have prevented us from reaching this critical point and my anxious attachment issues. Ultimately, I want to feel happy and respected, and for both of us to honor each other's boundaries. Despite still being in love, the spark is missing. I'm terrified that if I voice any concerns, we'll backslide into the same patterns, and he may be gone for good. Should I stay silent and focus on breaking this attachment during our time apart, or is it worth it to confront him about what’s troubling me? I'm desperate to know if this relationship can be salvaged. **TL;DR:** My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly four years. Our relationship turned toxic after he subscribed to his ex's OnlyFans. My anxiously attached behavior worsened while on birth control, and now we're unsure if we can repair what’s broken. We both love each other, but the spark is gone. I want to be happy and see if there's a chance to save our relationship, but I’m conflicted about how to approach this time apart.