My boyfriend isn't as physically affectionate with me as I'd prefer...

I've been in a relationship for the past four months with my boyfriend, who is also 30. We initially connected through Facebook Dating, where he took the initiative by messaging me first, planning our dates, and encouraging our closeness. He invited me to spend the night at his place, took me to his band practice, and created a romantic atmosphere that felt like something out of a fairytale. In the beginning, our sex life was quite active, but I often found that I would finish while he wouldn't. He reassured me not to worry about it, explaining that he doesn't climax easily and is simply happy to take care of me. However, this discrepancy led to two arguments. The first disagreement arose when I had to leave for work, and though he expressed that he was aroused and wanted to use my toy, he waited until I was about to leave to mention it. This triggered feelings of being unwanted, leading me to ask him to leave when I returned home unexpectedly. The next day, we discussed how I felt triggered by his timing, and he assured me it wasn't about him rejecting me. He understood that my concern was more about not being included in his pleasure. Our second argument came when he mentioned needing some space. I opened up about feeling sexually deprived, and during that conversation, he disclosed his struggles with porn addiction and how it affects both our relationship and his self-esteem. He admitted that his erectile dysfunction is an ongoing issue for him and that he doesn't have a strong sexual drive. Recently, he had a moment where he cleaned his toys and disposed of them, stating he was tired of it being a problem. I interpreted it as a step towards overcoming his porn addiction, and for a while, everything felt fine. But with our busy schedules and social obligations, we haven't had much time to connect. He's asked me to move in, bought us concert tickets, and is planning future events, which gives the impression that everything is okay. However, I've noticed something troubling: he hasn't actually thrown the toy away; it's hidden in a drawer, and he seems to be using it daily. We haven’t been as affectionate lately, which makes me question whether this is just the natural progression of our relationship or if there's a deeper issue we need to address. For context, I fully support masturbation and self-pleasure. My main concern is that while I could engage in similar solo activities, I would prefer our intimate moments to be shared. I want him to climax with me, and though it feels selfish, I want that physical connection. This morning, I tried to initiate intimacy, but he dismissed it, saying we didn’t have enough time. I suggested he use his toy to finish for me, only for him to claim he no longer had one. I felt blindsided because I know he has it and has been using it, but he lied directly to me. I’m confused about why he would hide this, especially since we usually communicate openly. Is he trying to spare my feelings? Does he feel ashamed? Am I no longer attractive to him? I can't help but wonder if he might identify as asexual or if he simply has a lower libido compared to my needs. Previous relationships often involved both good sex and various issues, but this one seems to thrive on romance and emotional connection, despite the sexual discrepancy. I want to embrace our plans and potentially move in together. He loves my dog and enjoys spending time with me, making me feel cherished in so many ways. Yet the inability to climax during our intimate moments is affecting how I feel about our relationship. I find myself in a dilemma about how to address this without jeopardizing what we have. I've talked to a couple of close friends, and one suggested I may want to reconsider the relationship entirely, as they don’t understand my struggle. Why is he lying to me? Is our relationship still worth pursuing? Should I consider discussing something more adventurous to reignite our intimacy or just let him continue his routine? It feels frustrating that his keeping that toy a secret restricts our shared experiences, and while I can find fulfillment on my own, I miss being part of his pleasure. What complicates everything is that he still wants to cuddle at night and plans for our future together. I worry that this issue is too significant to overlook. The idea of confronting him about the hidden toy and revealing I know about it has crossed my mind, but I fear this could lead to dramatic reactions. I don’t want to make impulsive decisions because I'm confused and hurt. I've been genuinely proud of how I've been managing my emotions and interactions, and I don’t want to jeopardize something potentially wonderful. Right now, I'm feeling lost.