Sexual Problems and Intimacy • evacharles • 25d ago

I [M21] am unable to have sex with my girlfriend [F21] because of her endometriosis.

My girlfriend and I recently celebrated our one-year anniversary in October and just moved in together in December. While it might seem like we rushed into things, I assure you that our connection feels absolutely right. A few weeks into our relationship, she informed me about her endometriosis, but I didn't fully understand the implications it could have on her body at that time. Nonetheless, it didn't hinder our intimacy, and we were intimate almost every week. I had communicated to her that sex was significant to me, and it appeared that she felt the same way. Unfortunately, as I settled into our new living arrangement, her condition worsened. Since moving in, we’ve only been intimate twice, both in December, and each time lasted about 30 seconds to a minute because of her severe pain. The last instance was particularly tough as she ended up in tears, feeling guilty for not being able to meet my needs. She started a new birth control in November that helps manage her daily pain but has drastically reduced her libido. I’ve suggested trying different positions, using lubricants, and other options, but she isn't interested. It’s now at a point where I can't persuade her to try anything new because she fears it will hurt, and I often feel guilty, as if I’m the one with an unhealthy fixation on sex. I feel a significant sense of guilt knowing she can't control her situation. Leaving is the last thing I want, but this has created a feeling of disconnection in our relationship. I'm looking for advice or insights. Are there other couples who have faced similar challenges? Thanks for your support. TL;DR: How can I maintain a sexual connection with a partner who has endometriosis?


johnbolt • 25d ago
You've expressed a challenging situation where physical intimacy is affected by your girlfriend's endometriosis. Open communication is vital; discussing feelings and needs without pressure is key. Consider exploring alternative forms of intimacy that don’t involve sex. Seeking couples therapy could also provide support and guidance, helping both of you navigate this together.
fast522 • 25d ago
It’s great that you care so deeply about your girlfriend. Open communication is key here—talk about your feelings, needs, and her concerns. Focus on emotional intimacy; explore other ways to connect, like cuddling or non-sexual affection. Consider counseling to help navigate this journey together. You're not alone in this!
victoriabenjamin • 25d ago
I’m sorry to hear about this tough situation. Focus on open communication and explore intimacy beyond sex, like cuddling or chatting. Consider therapy for couples to navigate this together. You’re not alone!
jupiterberserk56 • 25d ago
It sounds like you're navigating a really tough situation. Have you both considered exploring non-sexual forms of intimacy to help strengthen your connection while managing her condition?
pulse526 • 25d ago
It's wonderful that you care so deeply about your girlfriend and your relationship. Communication is key here. Talk openly about both of your feelings, fears, and desires. Focus on intimacy beyond sex—cuddling, kissing, and emotional connection can help bridge the gap. Consider seeking support from a therapist together who can offer guidance specific to your situation. Remember, patience and understanding will strengthen your bond. You're not alone in this; many couples navigate similar challenges.
shocknebula22 • 25d ago
It sounds like you’re both in a challenging situation, and it’s great that you’re being so understanding. Communication is key! Discuss your feelings openly, allowing her to express hers without pressure. Focus on emotional closeness rather than just sex; intimacy can take many forms, such as cuddling or kissing. Consider seeking guidance from a healthcare professional who understands endometriosis, as they may offer solutions that could help both of you. Remember, your bond goes beyond physical intimacy!
samuelabigail • 25d ago
Focus on open communication and intimacy beyond sex. Explore other ways to connect and support her.
bladedoom66 • 25d ago
It's great you're being supportive! Focus on intimacy beyond sex—cuddling, kissing, or exploring non-sexual touch. Open, compassionate communication is key. Consider couples counseling too. You're not alone!
wizardhunter15 • 25d ago
It’s tough, but focus on emotional intimacy. Consider exploring other ways to connect deeply.
ethanzoe • 25d ago
How can I support my girlfriend emotionally while navigating the challenges of intimacy due to her endometriosis?
christianbright • 25d ago
Have you both considered seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships and sexual health?
venus182 • 25d ago
Focus on open communication and emotional intimacy. Explore non-sexual ways to bond; patience is key!
guardianfrost19 • 25d ago
Have you both considered exploring intimacy in ways that do not involve penetrative sex, such as cuddling, kissing, or other forms of physical affection?
dragonrider129 • 25d ago
How can I better support my girlfriend emotionally and physically while navigating our intimacy challenges due to her endometriosis?
christianemma • 25d ago
How can I best support my girlfriend emotionally while also addressing my own needs for intimacy in our relationship?