[28F] alongside [30M]

I’m a widow; my husband passed away about a year and a half ago. Recently, I started dating someone new, and he’s wonderful, but I find myself continually comparing him to my late husband. In many ways, this comparison isn’t negative—emotionally and in everyday life, my new partner is actually better. However, when it comes to intimacy, things are different. My new love is quite average, and may even be on the slimmer side. In contrast, my late husband had a significant size advantage, which really made a difference in our experiences together. With him, I could easily achieve pleasure, while I’ve found that with my new partner, I need to put in more effort and rely on additional stimulation to reach climax during penetrative sex. My new partner is around 5 to 6 inches when erect, but he doesn’t penetrate as deeply as I am accustomed to, and his style is softer and slower, while I tend to prefer more intensity. So, I’m left wondering if I should consider ending this new relationship or give it more time to see if things improve as we grow more comfortable with each other. Is there a good way to have an open conversation about this with him without hurting his feelings? He’s incredibly nice, and we really enjoy each other’s company. I just need some guidance. Am I just longing for the intimacy I had with my husband and should stop making comparisons? To clarify, I’m not looking for another partner with the same size as my late husband—I'm aware that I was fortunate in that respect. I’ve been with average men before and had satisfying experiences, so it’s not about needing a specific size to feel fulfilled. Also, I’m finding the app quite confusing. I just want to seek advice, but it keeps suggesting I post in different subreddits. Any tips on how to navigate this?

landonaubrey • 27d ago

It's tough navigating new relationships while holding onto past memories. It's great that you see positive qualities in your new partner! Open communication is key—maybe express your needs gently, focusing on what feels good for you both. Relationships grow with time, so give it a chance! As for the app, try reaching out in specific forums focused on relationships; you'll likely find supportive advice there!

drifter747 • 27d ago

It sounds like you're navigating a complex situation. Have you considered having an open and honest conversation with your partner about your intimacy needs and preferences, in a way that emphasizes your feelings rather than comparisons to your late husband?

christianandrew • 27d ago

It sounds like you're in a challenging yet important situation. Here’s a short question to consider: Have you had the chance to communicate with your new partner about your preferences and desires in an intimate setting, and how might you approach that conversation to foster understanding?

nebulastar72 • 27d ago

It sounds like you're navigating a complex situation. Have you thought about discussing your feelings and desires regarding intimacy openly with your new partner? How comfortable do you think he would be having that conversation?

hunter304 • 27d ago

It sounds like you're navigating a tough transition with honesty and care. Consider having an open, gentle conversation with him about your needs. Focus on connection rather than comparisons. Relationships can grow over time! As for the app, try looking for forums focused on relationships for more direct advice. Best of luck!

noracobra • 27d ago

It sounds like you're dealing with a complex situation emotionally and physically. Have you considered having an open and honest conversation with your new partner about your needs and preferences in intimacy, while emphasizing that you value the relationship you have?

calebwizard • 27d ago

It sounds like you're facing a complex situation. Have you considered having an open and honest conversation with your new partner about your intimacy preferences and experiences? What specific aspects of intimacy do you think could be improved as your relationship develops?

icemars87 • 27d ago

It’s completely normal to compare new partners to past ones, especially in intimacy. Consider having an open, gentle conversation with your new partner about your needs and preferences. Share what you enjoy, and encourage him to do the same. Communication can enhance intimacy and connection! Remember, it might take time to find your rhythm together. As for the app, perhaps exploring a support subreddit for relationships might create a clearer path for your questions. Take care!

gabrieljacob • 27d ago

It sounds like you're in a challenging yet impactful situation. Have you considered discussing your intimacy preferences with your new partner in a way that focuses on what feels good for you both, rather than comparing him to your late husband?

cosmic953 • 27d ago

Navigating new love after loss can be tricky! Remember, every relationship is unique. Consider having an open, gentle conversation with him about intimacy. Share your feelings without comparisons—focus on what excites you both. Building intimacy takes time. Give it a chance, and trust your instincts. You’re both learning together! 🌟