My girlfriend, who is 23, tends to be avoidant, and I feel like she's distancing herself. How can I handle this situation without compromising my own well-being?

Hi everyone, I know this is quite lengthy, but I really need some guidance because I'm feeling uncertain in my relationship. My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years, and overall, it felt stable and strong. However, in the past couple of months, things have changed, and I’m not sure how to address it. I love her deeply and want to be the best partner I can be, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m just waiting around while she sorts through her feelings. About two months ago, she mentioned that she felt our relationship had lost its spark. She expressed that we don’t go on dates enough and that she often feels like she has to take care of me instead of relaxing. That was tough to hear because I never wanted her to feel burdened by the emotional weight of our relationship. However, what left me confused was that during the same conversation, she assured me, “No matter what happens, I’ll be your girlfriend until you make me your wife.” While this gave me hope, I now wonder if she genuinely meant it or if she was just trying to cushion the impact of her concerns. On Valentine’s Day, she wrote me a heartfelt card, expressing her love for me and our relationship, which made me feel reassured about us. But then, a couple of weeks later, right before our anniversary, her guy friend invited her to try Middle Eastern food. This felt like a date to me, especially since I hadn’t met him and didn’t even know what he looked like. When I voiced my concerns, she said to think of it as an opportunity to explore a new culture. I didn’t want to seem insecure, so I let it go, but it bothered me nonetheless. The day after, which was our anniversary, she gifted me a permanent bracelet, symbolizing commitment. It left me feeling conflicted because while she shows she cares, I sensed her distancing herself. Just before her first week of university, we talked, and she expressed worry about pushing me away to the point where we might need to separate. When I asked about our future, she said, “It depends on how I feel. If my feelings change, so will our relationship.” This left me feeling like our future was entirely out of my hands; regardless of my efforts to improve myself, everything could shift if she woke up feeling differently. Her first week at university seemed fine, but by the second week, she increasingly felt stressed. On the Monday of that week, she went out with her guy friend to test-drive cars, and that whole week, our conversations felt dry. She wasn’t sharing much about her day or thoughts, making it feel like she was shutting me out. While she responds to my check-ins, it’s usually just superficial replies. I invited her over on Friday to study, offering to cook for her, but she declined, saying she was behind. Yet, she mentioned she would come watch me play a sport on Saturday but made it clear she wouldn’t stay long due to studying and work on Sunday. Additionally, I’m concerned about her emotional state. She has unresolved issues with her father and often struggles with expressing feelings when overwhelmed. She sent me a poem about moving on to the next guy, hoping he would hold her more tightly than her last. That stung deeply, and when I asked her about it, she didn’t respond but instead sent me a random TikTok, which felt dismissive. What confuses me is that while she expresses commitment through thoughtful gestures like cards and gifts, she simultaneously pulls away. She used to enjoy falling asleep on calls with me, but now she does so less frequently. When I inquired about it, she mentioned it depended on her mood, suggesting she needed time to unwind. That response felt like an emotional detachment, leaving me unsure how to proceed. I want to respect her space and allow her time to breathe, but I also fear that too much distance will lead us to feel completely disconnected. I feel like I’m putting in more effort than she is right now. I want to avoid coming off as needy but also don’t want to hide my feelings. It feels like she wants me to check in first, but when I do, she pulls back even more. I aspire to be a warm and secure presence in her life, but I don’t want to keep pursuing her if it leads to further withdrawal. I’ve been focusing on my own growth—career, hobbies, and social life—to avoid appearing stagnant while still wanting to nurture our relationship. I just don’t know how to navigate this without losing my dignity and self-respect while still showing her that I care. How can I give her the space she needs while avoiding a feeling of being erased from her life? How often should I check in to maintain connection without overstepping? At what point should I address my concerns without adding pressure? I genuinely want this relationship to work, but I also don’t want to keep investing if she’s already mentally moving on. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.