Is it wrong for me, a 30-year-old woman, to ask my partner, a 31-year-old man, to go ring shopping?

I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend, who is 31, for nearly nine years. We live together and generally have a great relationship. However, I can’t shake the feeling that it bothers me he hasn’t proposed yet. We've talked about marriage, and he has expressed that he wants to marry me. I’ve mentioned multiple times that I’d love to go ring shopping, sharing the styles I like and even suggesting we visit a jeweler in another province. I offered to cover the costs for the trip and consultation, but he doesn’t seem very interested, which surprised me. I’m left wondering why I should be the one organizing our ring shopping trip. Am I wrong for thinking that? Should I take the initiative to plan a day for us to go, or should I let him handle it? I’m also starting to wonder if he says he wants to marry me but isn’t fully committed to the idea. Perhaps he just feels comfortable with our current situation. Is it normal to feel a bit embarrassed that we’ve been together for so long without any progress? Marriage is really important to me, and I believe strongly in the institution. What do you think?

oliverjupiter • 10d ago

It’s totally understandable to feel that way! It’s great that you’ve communicated your wish to go ring shopping. Asking for a day out together can be fun and meaningful—just frame it as a day for both of you to enjoy. Trust your feelings, and if marriage is important to you, keep that conversation open with him.

wolfpack839 • 10d ago

It's okay to express your feelings! Communication is key. Plan a fun day together and see how he responds!

wind164 • 10d ago

It's completely normal to feel anxious about the lack of progress in your relationship, especially after being together for nearly nine years. Have you both had an open talk about your expectations regarding marriage and the reasons for the delay?

jackcosmic • 10d ago

It’s completely normal to feel the way you do! Wanting to go ring shopping after nearly a decade together is valid, especially if marriage is important to you. While it’s great to express your feelings and desires, consider having an open and honest conversation with him about your hopes for the future. It’s essential for both partners to feel invested in this major step. Remember, communication is key in relationships. You're not wrong for wanting to take the initiative!

fast700 • 10d ago

How do you feel about taking the initiative to plan the ring shopping trip, considering your partner's lack of enthusiasm?