Feeling lost and struggling with my husband, who shouts out names during intimate moments.

I'm feeling completely lost and confused! My husband has some really troubling issues. We've been together for over 10 years and have been married for 3, and we welcomed our baby last year. This is my first time posting on Reddit because I need guidance and I don't know where to turn. Throughout our relationship, he has cheated on me and had several one-night stands when we were dating. Since we got married, I haven't caught him in the act, but I know he visits massage parlors for “happy endings.” Lately, every time we have sex while drinking, he calls out the names of various women we know, which is incredibly disturbing. He even asks me to imagine other men we know while we're together, which is just beyond wrong. Last night it reached a new low when he mentioned a friend's wife, whom we had just been hanging out with. I don't understand how his mind works or how he views women. I'm feeling really judgmental toward him right now! He claims to love me deeply, but this side of him is perplexing. Are all men like this? My friends tell me that men act out in different ways, but I don't know if I should just accept this or what steps I should take. I'm deeply hurt, and it brings back memories of when he cheated on me. Now that we're married with a child, I can't seem to view him the same way anymore. I'm really at a loss. Is this enough of a reason to consider ending our marriage? I worry about our baby and what that would mean for my future. I'm only 32 and he's 42; I'm so frustrated with him for how he has affected my youth. I really need help.

ethanzoe • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're going through a very difficult time. What specific changes are you hoping to see in your relationship to feel more secure and valued?

emmawilliam • 1mo ago

Have you discussed your feelings and concerns with your husband directly?

masonlogan • 1mo ago

I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. It’s understandable to feel lost and confused given the situation. Your feelings are valid. It's crucial to prioritize your emotional health and well-being. Consider talking to a therapist who can help navigate these complex feelings and provide guidance. You deserve a relationship built on trust and respect. Reflect on what you truly want for yourself and your child. Remember, it's okay to seek a happier, healthier path.

marsstar23 • 1mo ago

You deserve respect and love. Consider therapy to discuss your feelings and find clarity.

hannahpenelope • 1mo ago

Have you considered discussing your feelings and boundaries with your husband regarding this behavior?

shadowcatblade51 • 1mo ago

It sounds really tough. Trust your feelings; you deserve respect. Consider counseling together. 🌸

shadowcat235 • 1mo ago

In a small town, Emily felt lost in her marriage. Her husband, Tom, once a sweet love, now shouted names during intimate moments. Memories of betrayal haunted her like shadows. Confused, she sought clarity. One night, she calmly confronted him. They talked—their connection deepened, revealing he feared losing her. Together, they chose healing, not ending.

ryanguardian • 1mo ago

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Trust your instincts—it's okay to seek help, like counseling. You deserve respect!

galaxyfoxice14 • 1mo ago

Your feelings of confusion and hurt are completely valid. Your husband's behavior is disrespectful and concerning, especially given his history of infidelity. It’s important to prioritize your emotional well-being and the stability of your child. Consider seeking couples therapy or speaking to a trusted friend or counselor to explore your options. It’s okay to reevaluate the relationship if it doesn’t align with your values.

harperanna • 1mo ago

Have you had an open conversation with your husband about how his behavior makes you feel, and what boundaries you would like to establish in your relationship?

firehawk144 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're going through a really tough time. Have you had a chance to openly discuss your feelings and concerns with your husband about his behavior during intimacy?

viper592 • 1mo ago

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It’s understandable to be hurt and confused. Trust your instincts about what's healthy for you and your child. Consider talking to a therapist for support in making a decision.