[29M][29F] financial deception

I'm a 29-year-old man married to a 29-year-old woman. We've been married for three years, but we’ve been together for ten. Our financial situations aren't remarkable, but we manage. Both of us will turn 29 next month. My wife lost her mother to COVID-19 three years ago, and her father lived with us until recently. Now we're downsizing and moving into a smaller place next month, which has significantly drained our savings. We share a bank account and savings account, viewing our finances as joint. In the past, she has run up her credit cards with unnecessary purchases, promising it wouldn’t happen again. However, it has occurred a third time, totaling $1,600, mostly for her plant hobby, with one plant costing $500. While the financial aspect is concerning, the dishonesty is what truly hurts. Over the last two weeks, she withdrew from her 401k to bolster our savings and claimed she needed to pay only about $200 on her cards. She even discussed how ridiculous it is to spend $200-600 on plants, all while she had already bought them. Yesterday, she woke me at 3 a.m., just before heading to work, and shared everything, initially claiming it was only $1,000. She was very emotional, calling herself worthless and putting me in a position where I felt I had to comfort her because of her past mental health struggles. Despite expressing that I needed space while at work, she kept texting me throughout the day. When I got home, she ambushed me again, crying and pleading for me not to leave her, despite my reassurances from earlier in the day. I asked for her credit card passwords, as she'd previously lied about how much she owed. This request caused her to have a breakdown, leading her to claim she would sell her entire plant collection, an action I neither wanted nor requested, and she said she felt ashamed of her finances, asking me to trust her to "fix it." I explained that it was the dishonesty that hurt the most and that I needed to see her accounts to ensure transparency. This led to another emotional breakdown, during which she expressed that she felt completely alone and considered harming herself, which alarmed me. I took my pistol, unloaded it, and hid it before comforting her. That night, I spent time reassuring her. Eventually, she confessed to spending $1,600, including the $500 plant, and today she shared her credit card login details with me. She insists she will sell her plants to pay off the debt and cancel her cards to "fix it." While I care less about the money and more about the lies and deceit, I feel overwhelmed by her constant apologies and excuses. I genuinely fear for her mental health, understanding that it stems from her mother’s loss, but it's challenging for me since I feel like I haven’t done anything wrong. I love my wife and don't want to leave her, but I’m wary of a repeat situation. Should I suggest we separate our finances? Is this manipulation or a sign of her unaddressed trauma? How can I communicate that I need space to process everything before discussing it rationally? On a side note, I recently began a new hobby that occupies 1-2 days a week for 3-5 hours. She has mentioned feeling lonely, attributing it to her impulsive spending. Is quitting my hobby the right move? I apologize for venting so much; I don’t have anyone to talk to about this since I don’t want to affect how our family and friends view her.