Complicated dynamics with a colleague

Here's the revised text: --- I’m in a situation where I could really use some outside perspective. I've been working with a woman for the past few months, and it feels like we're caught in a confusing, emotionally charged connection. I'm starting to suspect she might have strong romantic feelings for me but is resisting them, and I’m unsure how to handle it. I genuinely care about her, regardless of how things turn out. Here’s the full story: **How It All Began** - From the moment she joined my team, I noticed she behaved differently around me. She seemed especially attentive, always aware of my presence, and laughed at my comments even when she wasn't part of the conversation. This didn't go unnoticed by our colleagues, who commented on her focus on me. - Our first real interaction left me captivated; she gave me a warm, glowing smile that made me aware of her interest long before I realized it. Over time, our moments felt flirty and charged, despite her naturally shy demeanor. **The Date and the Friend Zone** - After much back-and-forth, I finally asked her out, and we had a great time at dinner and an arcade. Everything seemed to go well. - The day after the date, she informed me she didn't see me in a romantic light, describing our connection as more platonic. She mentioned that her heart was closed off due to her past with an ex who had cheated on her. - I was taken aback but respected her feelings and promised to back off. However, the very next day, she reached out to me about a topic we discussed on our date. Instead of cooling off, her demeanor changed; she became friendlier, with more smiles and palpable happiness when we interacted. Her eyes sparkled whenever I was around, which didn’t feel platonic at all. **Seeking Clarity** - After about a month of this confusing warmth, I decided to text her to ask where we stood. I expressed my confusion about the situation. She told me she thought we were on the same page and that she couldn’t see us as anything more than friends. When I questioned what went wrong on our date, she insisted that nothing happened as she hadn't meant to lead me on, even though I had never accused her of that. I acknowledged my initiative in pursuing her and assured her I wouldn't bring it up again. The day after our conversation, she saw me at work and greeted me with a soft smile and warm eyes. **When I Stepped Back** - Confusion overwhelmed me, so I decided to give us both some space by not texting her for two weeks. - During that time, her behavior noticeably shifted. She would look at me with clear irritation, avoiding eye contact and not smiling at me anymore. Once, when I asked her if she was okay, she couldn’t meet my gaze and claimed everything was fine, but I could tell it wasn’t. - Finally, I reached out and asked for her number again, as I had deleted it during my time away. She quickly provided it, but the atmosphere felt tense. **Establishing Boundaries for Work Only** - After reaching back out, I told her I enjoyed our conversations and wanted to stay connected, but she suggested we only talk at work, stating it felt strange to communicate outside of the office given our dynamic. - This took me by surprise; she hadn’t had an issue with texting before. When I questioned her about why she offered her number if she didn’t want to talk, she sidestepped the inquiry. - It felt as though she was trying to distance herself, yet not entirely. I even offered her a chance to clarify things by saying maybe I had misread our connection, but she didn’t respond. **A Week Later—A Disturbing Conversation** - A coworker brought up my parents, who were featured in a documentary regarding radioactive waste issues in our area and had both passed away due to it. Though she wasn’t part of that chat, she reacted strongly when my parents were mentioned, bolting out of the area and standing frozen three desks away, clearly uncomfortable and avoiding any further discussion. - For the rest of the day, she looked at me with a blank, almost distressed expression. I chose to look away whenever our eyes met, and since then, we haven’t interacted further. **Why I'm Confused** - If she views me solely as a friend, why is she so emotionally reactive? Why does she seem to avoid me yet make subtle efforts to stay connected, like returning my number or attempting to greet me even after setting boundaries? - If she really feels indifferent, why hasn’t she blocked me or cut ties cleanly? Instead, things remain vague, which leaves me wondering if she’s grappling with her own feelings. - Her behaviors contradict her words; she claims to see me only as a friend, but her emotional responses—like avoidance and inconsistency—tell a different story. **What I’ve Done** - I've tried to be understanding, even when her actions have hurt me. Recently, I texted her to check in since she’s been absent from work, hoping she was doing well. Although she hasn’t replied, she also hasn’t blocked me. - I want to believe she cares and is just fearful of being open, but it’s challenging not to feel confused and hurt by her avoidance. **What I Need Help With** - Is this all in my head, or does it seem like she might have romantic feelings for me that she’s suppressing? - How can I approach this situation without pushing her further away? - I genuinely think we could have something special if she would just lower her guard, but I'm beginning to feel stuck. **TL;DR:** I suspect my coworker has romantic feelings for me but is avoiding and struggling with them. Her behavior is confusing and inconsistent, leaving me uncertain about how to proceed. Any advice would be appreciated.