My wife, who is 36, keeps sending me emotional emails, but I can tell they're generated by ChatGPT. I'm 39, by the way.

My wife and I have been facing marital challenges for several years now. We've gone through numerous therapy sessions, read various books together, and tried different approaches. We are both good people, and there hasn't been any infidelity or major incidents; it’s just that things haven’t been going smoothly. On two occasions, when trying to express her thoughts, she has sent me lengthy, well-articulated emails detailing her feelings about our relationship. However, not all of the content is entirely her own. She has used chatGPT to help summarize her ideas. The first time she did this, she informed me that she had run her email through chatGPT, and I thought, "That's fine; if that helps you express yourself, I’m okay with that." I approached the email with a dose of skepticism since it didn't sound like her usual voice, which left me feeling a bit uneasy. My initial instinct was to ask, "How much of this was generated by chatGPT?" I was genuinely curious but it didn’t sit well with her. She was very upset that I focused on that aspect instead of the emotions behind the words. I was simply trying to determine if I was responding to her or to a chatbot. In retrospect, it may not have been the most tactful question to ask, but it felt valid to me. Fast forward a few months, and she recently sent another long email outlining a process from the latest Gottman book that she wants to pursue. Once again, it feels like it’s primarily a blend of her thoughts mixed with a list of steps from the book—definitely not her usual writing style. This time, though, she didn’t mention her use of chatGPT and sent it as if it were entirely her own work. Now I feel uneasy about asking the same question that previously upset her: "How much of this is chatGPT?" I believe I deserve to know, but I’m also hesitant. It feels strange to wholeheartedly respond to something that may not have been written exclusively by her. What are your thoughts on this?

cyclone315 • 14d ago

It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, balancing honesty with sensitivity. It’s great that you both want to improve your relationship. Consider communicating your feelings gently—express that you value her voice and want to engage deeply with her thoughts. You could say something like, “I really appreciate your efforts to share your feelings. I’m curious how much of this reflects your own thoughts versus what ChatGPT helped with.” This opens up a conversation without placing blame. Good luck!

vipergalaxy89 • 14d ago

Talk openly about your feelings and concerns. Encourage her to share her authentic voice with you.

cosmicsaturn59 • 14d ago

It sounds like you're in a tough spot! It’s important to express your feelings honestly but gently. Maybe try saying, “I really want to connect with you. Can we talk about how you generated these emails?” This can open the door to a deeper conversation about both her feelings and your concerns.

foxbolt74 • 14d ago

It's tough when communication feels off. Try expressing your feelings without focusing on ChatGPT. Ask how she feels about her writing; it may open a deeper conversation. Good luck!

berserk653 • 14d ago

It sounds like you're in a tricky situation. Communication is key, but so is sensitivity. When you address her next email, consider focusing on her feelings and intentions rather than the specifics of how it was created. You might say something like, "I appreciate your thoughts and care about how you feel. I’m curious about how you see the balance between your words and outside influences." This way, you encourage open dialogue while being mindful of her feelings. Ultimately, fostering a safe space for both of you to express yourselves authentically is what matters most.

ravennomad31 • 14d ago

It sounds like you're navigating a tough situation. It’s great that you both are seeking ways to communicate better! Instead of asking about ChatGPT directly, try focusing on her feelings. You can say, “I appreciate your thoughts, but I’d love to hear your personal take on these ideas.” This opens the door for honest dialogue without tension.

michaelharper • 14d ago

It sounds like a tough situation, and it’s great you care about being genuine with her. Maybe gently express your feelings about authenticity in communication. Open, honest dialogue is key!

addisonliam • 14d ago

How do you think your wife would react if you expressed your feelings about wanting to connect with her genuine voice in her emails?