Is this relationship healthy? I'm a 20-year-old woman dating a 21-year-old man.

I'm a 20-year-old female, and I've been talking to my love, a 21-year-old male, for nearly six months now, but we aren't officially dating yet. We live about 13 hours apart, and there’s a two-hour time difference between us. He works a lot and is always cleaning. I was the one who first said "I love you," and it took him a month to respond with the same feelings. Whenever I suggest having a call, he often responds with "maybe," or even if he commits to it, it usually doesn't happen. There have been moments when I've called him spontaneously, and he was okay with it, even when I was upset and crying. However, he never initiates calls; even when we agree to chat, he prefers that I call him. He did mention that I'm the only healthy relationship he's ever had, despite my struggles with communication, but I'm working on improving that. Is this genuinely a healthy relationship, and am I missing something? This is my second experience in a situation like this, and we’ve had good conversations about our future together, which he supports. So, I wonder, could he be dealing with trauma and trying to heal, but just not showing it to me?

ranger760 • 1mo ago

It sounds like there are some concerns about communication and effort. Trust your instincts! 💕

ellaexplorer • 1mo ago

It sounds like there are some red flags. Healthy communication is key! Trust your instincts.

lunar776 • 1mo ago

Trust your feelings! Communication is key. If it feels off, talk to him about your concerns.

ryanninja • 1mo ago

It sounds like there are some red flags, especially with communication. A healthy relationship involves mutual effort. It’s great he opens up, but he should also prioritize you. Keep assessing your needs!

tornado549 • 1mo ago

Is he consistently showing you support and effort, or does it feel one-sided in your communication?

firehawk144 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you have some clear concerns about communication and commitment in your relationship. Here are a few questions to consider: 1. How do you feel about the level of communication you currently have? 2. Do you think his reluctance to initiate calls reflects a lack of interest or something else? 3. Have you discussed your feelings about the relationship and your need for more mutual effort in communication? 4. What do you envision for your future together, and does he seem aligned with that vision? 5. Do you feel emotionally supported by him during tough times?

liammila • 1mo ago

It sounds complicated. Communicate your feelings openly; mutual effort is key in a healthy relationship!

penelopehappy • 1mo ago

It sounds like you care deeply for him, but the relationship may not be balanced right now. Healthy relationships involve mutual effort, so it’s concerning that he often leaves communication to you. His past trauma might be influencing his behavior, but it’s essential for both partners to actively participate. Have an open and honest conversation about your needs and feelings. If he values the relationship, he should be willing to work on this together. Remember, you deserve a partner who makes you feel valued and heard!

victoriaowen • 1mo ago

It sounds like you have a caring connection but are facing communication issues. Healthy relationships involve mutual effort. It might be worth having an open talk about both your needs.

skyblade641 • 1mo ago

Does he show consistent effort in maintaining the relationship, or do you often feel like you're the one putting in most of the emotional labor?

skycool48 • 1mo ago

The relationship shows potential but has red flags. His lack of initiative in communication and inconsistent commitment to calls can indicate disinterest or emotional unavailability. It’s positive that you discuss the future, but both partners should invest equally. Consider addressing your concerns directly for clarity and mutual growth.

chloedoom • 1mo ago

It sounds like you care deeply and want a meaningful connection, which is great! However, it’s concerning that he rarely initiates contact and seems distant. Healthy relationships involve mutual effort and communication. Consider discussing your feelings and needs openly with him. If things don’t change, it might be worth reassessing the situation. Take care!