I'm a 26-year-old woman and I feel overlooked and undervalued in my relationship with my boyfriend, who is 25. Am I asking for too much?

My boyfriend [25M] and I [26F] have been together for just over a year. We met while studying in grad school, and as fellow immigrants in the U.S., we’re both currently struggling to find jobs in a really tough market. It’s a big deal for him, especially since he wants to secure a job before his family visits, and I can sense the pressure he’s under. There’s a lot going on for both of us. Lately, though, I’ve been feeling like I don’t matter to him. I seem to be the one always making the effort—reaching out, checking in, and planning our time together—while he appears to go through the motions without showing how much I mean to him. If I don’t initiate communication, we hardly talk. I long for a deeper connection, but with him, I often feel like I’m too much and that I have to suppress my feelings because they seem to irritate him. This has led to a growing anxiety around him, and I think he’s become distant as a result. We seem stuck in a painful cycle: the more reassurance I seek, the more he withdraws, and the more he pulls away, the more anxious I get, which causes me to cling tighter. I recognize this pattern isn’t healthy, but I’m not sure how to change it. His behavior is also confusing; he can be warm and affectionate one day and cold and dismissive the next. On his sweet days, I feel hopeful, but during the distant ones, I feel like just an afterthought. Whenever I express feeling neglected or unimportant, he turns it around, suggesting I should communicate better or that I’m overreacting. Moreover, I can’t shake the feeling that I don’t have a meaningful place in his life beyond convenience. I want to be a priority and for my feelings and needs to be acknowledged. I don’t expect to be his only focus—I get that he has a lot on his plate. Still, it’s painful to feel like I barely register as significant in his life. At the same time, I’m beginning to question whether I’m leaning on him too much for emotional support. Being in a new country, away from family, has left me feeling incredibly lonely, and it seems like I’ve expected him to fill that void. Perhaps that’s unfair to him—maybe he’s just not in a position to provide what I need right now. I feel exhausted and heartbroken constantly. I’m unsure if I’m asking for too much or if this relationship simply isn’t right for me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated because I’m tired of feeling like I don’t matter.