My girlfriend [19F] prefers not to spend time with me [18M] if I can't offer her support, whether it's financial or emotional, especially since we're in a long-distance relationship.

I could really use some advice. I’m thinking about breaking up with her, but I do love her. We’ve been together for four months, and I know she struggles with school and daily expenses. I used to send her money to help with her bills, but I’m not in a position to do that anymore. It really hurts when she reacts the way she does—like when I check in on her after work or school, she responds with things like, "Why are you asking? You're not even here," or "Are you concerned?" When I ask if she’s busy, she often fires back, "Why? Do you have money now?" I never thought of her as a gold digger; I wonder if this behavior comes from desperation. She wasn’t like this during the first three months when I wasn’t sending her money. Has she lost interest in me and only values me for what I can provide? The last thing I want to find out is that she’s cheating on me.

starblade98 • 6d ago

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. It sounds really tough. Open communication is key here; express how her comments hurt you and share your concerns. It’s possible she’s feeling overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to express it. If her support expectations are too much, it’s okay to reevaluate the relationship. Remember, love should feel uplifting, not like a burden. Trust your instincts; it’s important to prioritize your well-being too.

thunderwolf315 • 6d ago

Have you talked to her about how her recent reactions make you feel and how they impact your relationship?

henryjackson • 6d ago

It sounds like you're in a tough spot. Love can get complicated, especially from afar. Maybe try having an open conversation about how you're feeling. Share your concerns and listen to hers too. Love should be about support, not just finances. If things don't change after that, it might be worth considering if this relationship is fulfilling for both of you.